Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Thanksgiving Night

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated G

A timely item from the groaners listserv.


T’was the night of Thanksgiving,
but I just couldn’t sleep…
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.

The leftovers beckoned…the dark meat and white,
but I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
the thought of a snack became infatuation.

So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
stuffing with gravy, green beans and tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie

But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees…
Happy eating to all — pass the cranberries, please.

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