Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Thanks to W.C. Fields

Category: Rated G

Jim Macaulay [jmacaul@fsd030.osc.state.nc.us] sent this to Brian. The author is unknown.


Jim and Bob were brothers who worked at opposite ends of the automobile business. Jim was the owner and CEO of The Neeven Company, a large manufacturer and distributor of automotive parts and equipment. Bob operated an automobile repair shop that used the Neeven products exclusively.

One day a huge tractor-trailer rig coasted to a halt in front of Bob’s repair shop. The driver got out and said to Bob, “Thank goodness there is a repair shop here. The brakes went out on my rig, and I cannot continue without repairing them. I have to get this load to the West Coast.”

Bob’s shop carried brakes only for automobiles and light-to-medium trucks, and Bob was not sure he could help the big rig driver. Bob was a creative mechanic, however, and he finally figured a way to adapt the smaller truck brakes to the tractor. Bob said to the driver, “These brakes should work on a temporary basis, but you will need to replace them once you reach California.”

The driver agreed, and Bob installed to makeshift brakes on the tractor. When the installation was complete, the driver waved to Bob and started down the road. At the first corner, the new brakes failed, and the tractor-trailer rig slammed into a crossing vehicle. The driver spent two weeks in the hospital recovering from his injuries.

There is a lesson to be learned from this tragedy:

“Never give a trucker a Neeven brake.”

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