Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

Texting for Seniors

Category: Lists, Puns, Rated G

This was posted by Stan Kegel on the groaners listserv. Why are these things seemingly so pertinent these days?

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting, there appears to be a need for a STC (Seniors’ Texting Code). If you qualify for Senior Discounts, this is the code for you!


AFT: Another Funeral Today

ATD: At the Doctor’s

B2N: Bingo Tonight?

BFF: Best Friend Farted

BTW: Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM: Covered By Medicare

CTUF2T: Can’t Twitter You, Fingers Too tight.

CUATSC: See You At the Senior Center

DWI: Driving While Incontinent

G2GEBS: Got To Go. Early Bird Special

FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers

FWIW: Forgot Where I Was

FYI: Found Your Insulin

GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!

GHA: Got Heartburn Again

GLKI: Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In

GOML: Get Off My Lawn

HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement


IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?

IITDH: I’m In The Doughnut Hole

IYHO: Is Your Hearing-Aid On?

JK: Just Kvetching

LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out

LMGA: Lost My Glasses Again

LWO: Lawrence Welk’s On

MGAD: My Grandson’s A Doctor

MILF: Meal I’d Like To Forget

N2PUSD: Need To Pick Up Some Depends.

NCBM: Not Covered By Medicare

OMG: Ouch, My Groin!

OMGC: Oy, My Grandchildren!

OMMR: On My Massage Recliner

OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.

PIMP: Peeing In My Pants (from laughter)

ROFLCGU: Rolling on the Floor Laughing; Can’t Get Up

RULKM: Are You Leaving Kids Money?

SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop

SUK: Speak Up, Kid

TGIF: Thank Goodness It’s Four (P. M. Early Bird Special)

TTML: Talk to Me Louder

TTYL: Talk to You Louder

WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?

WIWYA: When I Was Your Age

WTFA: Wet the Furniture Again

WTFU ITTY: Wake the “F” Up, I’m Talking to You

WTP: Where’s the Prunes?

WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

Leave a Reply

  • Welcome to the new home of Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots. At least 3057 horrible puns, shaggy dogs, groaners, and feghoots. And a couple of good ones.

    In Defense of Shaggy Dog Stories

    From Whence the Nomenclature Shaggy Dog

    Note: Some of these entries can be a bit on the racy side. And some should probably not be read by the more easily offended. All such posts are tagged "Adult Theme", "Politically Incorrect", or "PG-13" as appropriate.

  • Sponsored Links

  • Fatal error: Allowed memory size of 134217728 bytes exhausted (tried to allocate 1549405 bytes) in /home/brianco/public_html/shaggy-dogs/wp-includes/functions.php on line 440