Thanks to Bill Pardue for sending this.
A TEXAS BLESSING
Note: If you are not a resident of TEXAS or never have lived in the hot, humid South, you may not understand the weight of this blessing!
-Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
-Please keep it cool in mid-July.-Bless the walls where termites dine,
-While ants and roaches march in time.-Bless our yard where spiders pass
-Fire ant castles in the grass.-Bless the garage, a home to please
-Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.-Bless the love bugs, two by two,
-the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.-Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
-in TEXAS, Lord, you’ve put them all.-But this is home, and here we’ll stay,
-So thank you Lord, for insect spray.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN. . . .
-The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
-The trees are whistling for the dogs.
-The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
-Hot water now comes out of both taps. -You can make sun tea instantly.
-You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
-The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
-You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
-You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
-You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
-You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
-Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
-You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
-The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
-Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
-The cows are giving evaporated milk.
Ah, what a place to call home. God Bless Our State of Texas!!