Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Tarzan and Jane

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated G

This was posted on the groaners listserv.


Tarzan swings into the tree house after work and asks Jane if she has prepared the martinis.

Jane says, “Oh Tarzan, we don’t have any snacks to go with the cocktails.”

Tarzan swings back out of the tree house into the forest and comes across two Golden Finches which he catches in each hand and knocks their heads together to kill them.

He then returns to the tree house, throws the birds on the table, and asks Jane, “Can we have dinner, now?”

Jane replies, “But Tarzan we have no meat for the main course.”

Tarzan swings once again out of the tree house into the forest and comes across a pair of chimpanzees and catches one in each hand and knocks their heads together to kill them.

Once again he swings back into the tree house, throws the monkeys on the table, and asks Jane: “Can we have dinner, now?”

Jane replies, “Tarzan, do we have to have finch and chimps again?”

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