Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Taking The Shaggy Dog For A Wok

Category: Rated G

by Glenn Gardner [steed@attcanada.ca]


An overweight and happily unemployed short order cook was forced to make an effort to seek a job. He didn’t really want to work, but had to make a show of it in order to maintain his Employment Insurance benefits. He applied at a Chinese food emporium and they asked him to audition for the job. Wearing the company uniform was a problem because they only had three sizes, “Slim”, “Medium”, and “Wide”. He was so overweight that he couldn’t even button up a “Wide”, but he squeezed into it anyway. He was thinking that there was no way they’d give him the job, seeing as how he had never had any instruction or experience with Oriental cooking. As he proceeded to demonstrate what skill he might have, he found that he was getting caught up in the moment and really enjoying the cooking technique. In fact, he excelled at it. It seems he had a naturally instinctive ability for stir fry. He had mixed emotions when they gave him the job, but I don’t think he had any reason to complain about once again being gainfully employed, because, after all…….

“He wokked intuit with a size “Wide” open !

(© Glenn Gardner 2000)

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