All posts tagged Tom Gunther

Gaining Face?

Sent by Alan B. Combs

A recent headline from the New York Times on-line (you may have to join to read it) says the French are the first to use a transplant to repair a face.

This seems appropriate research for folks that are always losing face, doesn’t it?

Tom Gunther’s co-worker said that this isn’t surprising, since the French have always been two-faced.

Lowrie adds, “Their faces are not lost; they’re just wedged up their derrières.”… Read the rest...

An ID ten T Error?

We received this bit of useful information from Alice Collins. Thanks.

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.

“So, what was wrong?”

He replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”

I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, “An ID ten T error? What’s that — in case … Read the rest...

Road Weary

This is an original by Tom Gunter.

I left my car at the shop overnight when I bought a new set of radials. When we picked it up the next day, I saw the word “sleeper” scrawled across the paperwork.

I said to my wife, “Look, my car slept here last night.”

“Of course it did,” she replied. “It was tired.”

From Chris Cole:

The next time he takes in his car for new treads he should get the senior … Read the rest...

Texas Soldiers

Bill Pardue sent this to me. Such tales are a sign of the times The original author is unknown, but I suspect it is a very old tale, modified.

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down the dusty road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune, “One Texas soldier is better than ten Taliban.”

The Taliban commander quickly sends ten of his best soldiers over the dune, whereupon, a battle breaks out and continues … Read the rest...

Dental award

Tom Gunter [] told me he heard this on a Paul Harvey program.

Paul Harvey told us this week that the dentist of the year was recently named. Important as this honor is, what does did the dentist actually get for this award?

A little plaque.… Read the rest...

Barbaric Theology

This was submitted by Tom Gunther. Shortly thereafter, I received it from other sources. Thanks.

After twenty years of shaving himself every morning, a man in a small Southern town decided he had enough. He told his wife that he intended to let the local barber shave him each day. He put on his hat and coat and went to the barber shop, which was owned by the pastor of the town’s Baptist Church. The barber’s wife, Grace, was working … Read the rest...

Shaggy Beer

This was created by Tom Gunther….

Here’s one that came to me out of thin air last night…

“I’ve been thinking about a remake of The Music Man set in the 90s. The character of Marian Paroo would no longer be a librarian but would be an unfulfilled bikini model in beer ads, a sadder Budweiser girl.”… Read the rest...

Panda to Bad Taste in Puns

This was from Tom Gunther.

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, “Hey! where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!” The panda yells back at the bartender, “Hey man, I’M a PANDA! Look it up!” The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the … Read the rest...