This tale by Terry Morrison was published on the groaners listserv.
The annual Chefs’ Convention was the highlight of the year for the town of Canard Falls. Preparations for the big event began well in advance and nearly every one of ‘the Falls’ 9,326 inhabitants had a hand in it, even the children.
When the big day arrived, as it invariably did each year, it signalled the beginning of three full days of fun frivolity and feasting. People ate so … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/dessert-at-canard-falls/
This is by Terry Morrison.
Even though class was well underway, not a sound could be heard coming from the fifth floor classroom.
Inside, seven students practised their craft with uncanny precision, lifting huge panes of glass, bumping into unseen obstacles and walking, or more correctly, being walked by invisible dogs on just as invisible leashes.
Being a mime required countless hours of energy-sapping dedication as each tiny movement was repeated over and over to create the desired effect. They … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-show-must-go-on/
A shaggy tale by Terry Morrison.
”Pass me some of that white meat,” bellowed the king.
The man to his left passed the plate of thinly-sliced meat without comment. The king grunted and helped himself to six of the largest slices, heaping them on top of his already well-stocked plate.
The tribesmen drooled in silence as he stuffed the exquisitely-roasted meat into his chubby cheeks, gave it a few obligatory chews to blend it a bit, and washed the entire … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-feast/
This tale is by Terry Morrison, author of “Mattress-ide and Other Grammatical Atrocities”.
The patient was face down on the bed while four doctors with a combined total of 81 years medical experience, examined his upraised buttocks.
In spite of all their training, the best they could come up with were comments like “I’ve never seen anything like it,” and “Beat’s me,” and “It must make life very uncomfortable for you, Mr. Higgenbottom.”
Higgenbottom managed a muffled hiss into a … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-medical-mystery/
This tale is by Terry Morrison, author of “Mattress-ide and Other Grammatical Atrocities”.
“I have to get out of here,” screamed Father Klaus from the confines of his tiny cell. “Please! Please! I can’t stand it in here. I can’t breathe. Please, won’t somebody help me before the walls close in?” His pleading trailed off into the stale air of the monastery’s damp stone halls.
Outside the bolted door, Fathers Pietro and Alberto shook their heads in pity. Father Klaus’s … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-monk/
This tale is by Terry Morrison, author of “Mattress-ide and Other Grammatical Atrocities”
An extremely red-faced man stormed into the tiny shop on the corner of Lingot and Main. Pushing his way past the assorted browsers, he bore down on the sales counter like a Scud missile.
The lone clerk regarded him with some trepidation.
“I want to speak to the manager,” he demanded.
“I’m sorry Sir, Mr. Mowbray isn’t in today. Is there anything I can help you with?”… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-fine-print/
This tale is by Terry Morrison, author of “Mattress-ide and Other Grammatical Atrocities”
Ted Lawrence awakened from a deep sleep.
What was that noise? He could have sworn he just heard music coming from somewhere. But that was impossible. He was alone in the house.
There it was again, coming from outside the bedroom door. Familiar music that he couldn’t place. It certainly wasn’t coming from his stereo since there wasn’t anything remotely like it in his extensive collection of … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/night-music/
This tale is by Terry Morrison, author of “Mattress-ide and Other Grammatical Atrocities”.
The exhibition was in its fourth day and already more than five thousand people had passed through the turnstiles to view the works of Jorge Salvatore. Salvatore was Mexico’s ”native son”, and his black velvet paintings were revered around the world. He credited Andy Warhol with his success, since the subject matter of the late artist’s work was always a source of inspiration to him.
Like Warhol, … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/artistic-license/
This tale is by Terry Morrison, author of “Mattress-ide and Other Grammatical Atrocities”.
Queen Isabella watched proudly as the ships left the quay. A large part of her Treasury had gone into the construction of the fleet but it was necessary to keep those damn Englishmen from invading her country. They were a nuisance, no doubt about it.
But Her Highness had another, more practical reason for having such a fleet. The New World had just been discovered and she … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/queen-isabella/