All posts tagged Sports

Punniest of Show 2015: Gy Odom (3rd Place)

Gy Odom’s 3rd place skit on sports at the 2015 O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships.

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Punniest of Show 2015: Matthew Tobin

Matthew Tobin’s baseball skit scores 38 points at the 2015 O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships. He tied for third place, but was knocked off the stand in an applause off.

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Punniest of Show 2015: Jerzy Gwiazdowski

Jerzy Gwiazdowski puns on baseball at the 2015 O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships. His score of 37 fell just short of medaling.

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Soccer? I barely know her!

Knowledge of Premier League football will help with this submission by Dave Wallace.

Like many of us, I’m embarrassed when I can’t remember the name of a person after our initial introduction.

My local coffee shop proprietor introduced me to her new worker, Chelsea, recently.

Now, I want you to know that I have a system for remembering names by spotting some characteristic of that person and creating an association, or index as a prompt or hint to recall the … Read the rest...

Diego Come and Me Wanna Go Home

This picture pun is making the rounds. I certainly can’t argue with it…

I don't know son. We're chargersRead the rest...

Punslingers Round Two (Video)

Here’s the second round of Punslingers from last weekend’s O. Henry Pun-Off. It’s a mere 41 minutes in length.

Topics included:
– Handwriting Instruments
– Desserts, no Candy
– Exercise
– Magic & Illusions
– Currency & Coins
– Power Tools
– Fruits & Vegetables
– Archeology… Read the rest...

Punslingers Round One (Video)

Here’s the first round of Punslingers from last weekend’s O. Henry Pun-Off. Grab some popcorn, because it runs for almost seventy minutes of puns!

Topics included:
– Space Travel
– Toys
– Candy, no Desserts
– Metal
– Photography
– Disney
– World War II
– Bread
– Mythology
– Headwear
– Chemistry
– Flowers
– Geology
– Hair, no Products
– Glassware
– Olympics… Read the rest...

A Classical Football Game

This tale comes to us as the (Thank the Heavens) season begins. Gill Krebs posted it to yahoo’s pun group.

Julius Caesar, Mark Anthony, and Brutus decided to go to a football match one Saturday. Roma was playing local rival Sparta for the All Holy Roman Empire Cup. So Caesar organized the tickets and they all agreed to meet at the stadium at 3 p.m., just in time for the kick off.

Saturday arrived and Caesar and Mark Anthony took … Read the rest...

Golf is Good for Italian Men

From Brother Tom Vickery.

An 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, “How do you stay in such great physical condition?”

“I’m Italian and I am a golfer,” says the old guy, “and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well.”

“Well”, … Read the rest...

Live Shaggy

Another of the name picture puns that are taking over the interwebs…

Lance Armstrong - Lance LegstrongRead the rest...

A Backhanded Compliment?

This is developed from a forum post I read online.

Thursday night, Eleven time Grand Slam champion Rafael Nadal lost to 100th ranked Lukas Rosol of the Czech Republic in the second round at Wimbledon. Some call it the biggest upset in tennis history, but I think they’re missing the real story.

I heard that before the final point of the match, Nadal cried out that he couldn’t believe he was losing to a Serb. After scoring, Rosol yelled out, … Read the rest...

One O’Clock Shaggy

Dave Wallace reworked on oldie but goodie. “Just for fun,” as he said.

Here is a little-known fact:

One of the most famous musicians of the Big Band era had three spinster sisters, who were avid baseball fans. As the Count toured across country, he would treat the three sisters to tickets for what ever game was in town. This could have been because he genuinely loved his sisters, or it might have been related to the fact that they … Read the rest...

Politically Correct NFL Teams

From the groaners listserv. Assuming there is a season next year, the following is likely to happen.

The National Football League recently announced a new era. From now on, no offensive team names will be permitted. While the owners of the teams rush to change uniforms and such, the National Football League announced yesterday its name changes for the upcoming season, as well as the first week’s schedule that includes:

The Washington Native Americans will host the New York Very … Read the rest...

The Referee’s Cell Phone

This was posted on bwjokes.

After a basketball game, the coach found a cell phone on the gym floor. He picked it up and handed it to one of the referees, saying, “Here’s your phone.”

“What makes you think it’s mine?” the referee asked.

“Easy,” the coach replied. “It says you missed 13 calls.”… Read the rest...

The Ambidexterous Golfer

This rude little tale was published on the groaners listserv a few years ago.

Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favorite moment of the week. Then one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city. It wasn’t quite the same without him.

A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round in the … Read the rest...

Washing Instructions

This is from one of my students, Linda Therrio. In the deep and all-important world of college football, this IS the week for such stories.

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”

“It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”

He yelled back, “Texas A & M.”

And they say blondes are dumb.… Read the rest...

The Vegetable Race

This from the groaners listserv.

A broccoli, a tomato, and a yam were running in a race.

The broccoli got off to a great start, but being a green runner, didn’t
have the strength to finish the race.

The yam and the tomato were neck and neck for the first stretch, but the tomato quickly fell behind.

The yam was about to reach the end of the track, but collapsed in
exhaustion right before the finiish line.

In the course … Read the rest...

Communication Gap

As is the case of so many of these, this is from the groaners listserv.

.       HER DIARY:

Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink.

I was shopping with my friend all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn’t flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so … Read the rest...

Halloween Riddles Part 3

Continuing the Halloween Riddles.

Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?
     Their bats flew away (Gary Hallock)

What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
     A dead ringer.

What do you call two witches living together?

What would you find on a haunted beach?
     A sand witch.

Why does the Mummy keep his Band-aids in the refrigerator?
     He wants to use them later for cold cuts!

How do ghosts begin letters?
     “Tomb it may concern”… Read the rest...

Football and Confession

This is from bwjokes2. The coming football season appears like an oasis in the desert of trash sports. So this tale is timely. It is changeable to fit your own needs.

Years ago, the chaplain of the football team at Notre Dame was a beloved old Irish priest. At confession one day, a football player told the priest that he had acted in an unsportsmanlike manner at a recent football game.

“I lost my temper and said some bad words … Read the rest...

Prefectly Shaggy

Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on May 31, 2008.

What's he calling this exercise programme? Pilates.

This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...

The Race Horse

From bwjokes2 (at

The young male race horse came from a long line of winners, and did wonderfully in time trials. However, in actual races he proved a little too romantic, and could never quite bring himself to pass a mare. So one day the trainer went to him and told him he’d have to be castrated.

The young horse, knowing that it was either this or the glue factory, took it philosophically. After all, having the operation was … Read the rest...

Laws of the Frisbee

From the groaners listserv.

1) The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc straining to land under a car, just beyond reach.
     (The technical term for this force is “car suck”.)

 2) The higher the quality of a catch or the comment it receives, the greater the probability of a crummy return throw.
     (“Good catch… Bad throw.”)

 3) One must never precede any maneuver by a comment more predictive than, “Watch this!”
     (Keep ’em guessing.)

 4) … Read the rest...

Shaggy Football

Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on November 5, 2005.

All Leeds roamed to Rhodes

This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...

Why Coaches Get the Big Bucks

Another by Bob Dvorak.

As the bullpen sweated through the top of the ninth inning, the coaches were huddling over the last licks. Down two runs, three outs to go.

Quinlan spoke up. “I figure we still have Menendez on the bench — our only position player left, but he’s left-handed. Stick him in the pitcher’s spot. The way I see it, he should take two pitches — Thornton won’t throw an actual strike until the third toss. If he … Read the rest...