Shayne sent us this version of a tale that combines equal portions of pathos and justice.
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
“Well, whatcha’ gonna do about it?” he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
“Come on, man,” the biker says, “I didn’t think you’d CRY. I can’t stand to see a man crying.”… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/having-a-really-really-bad-day/
This little bit of ancient wisdom was sent to us by Shayne Gad.
The tribal wisdom of the Lakota Sioux, passed on from generation to generation, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.
However, in government, Federal State and Local (including police, fire departments & education),Unions, large organizations and corporate America, more advanced strategies are often employed:
1. Buying a bigger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-dead-horse-theory/
From Shayne Gad.
GENERAL:
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It’s considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it is still
Rude to drive the U-Haul to the funeral home.
DINING OUT:
1. When decanting wine, make … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/east-texas-etiquette/
Our next chapter in the War Between the Sexes was sent by Shayne Gad.
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/men-are-just-happier-people/
The first part came from Shayne Gad. I proposed the second part. (Shayne says I am Jurassic Dirt, BTW.) Stan Kegel added the third part.
I’m older than dirt.
Someone asked the other day, ‘What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?’
‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,’ I informed him. ‘All the food was slow.’
‘C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?’
‘It was a place called ‘at home,” I explained! ‘Mum cooked … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/older-than-dirt/
This is from Shayne Gad.
When you have a ‘I Hate My Job’ day, [even if retired you have those sometimes] try this:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer
section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.
Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock
your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be
disturbed.
Change into very comfortable … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/subject-hate-my-job/
This is from Shayne Gad. Yep. It’s ’bout that time again. A season or so ago, I watched Florida State and Miami work to beat each other into submission. It was one of those situations where whoever did it, one couldn’t say the best team won. About the only notable exclusions from this list are Notre Dame, and the Aggies…
(1) What does the average Michigan State player get on his SATs?
Drool.
(2) What do you get when you … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/college-football-questions/
This is from Shayne Gad. Yep. It’s ’bout that time again. Last night I watched Florida State and Miami work to beat each other into submission. It was one of those situations where whoever won, one couldn’t say the best man did. About the only notable exclusions from this list are SoCal, Notre Dame, and the Aggies.
(1) What does the average Michigan State player get on his SATs?
Drool.
(2) What do you get when you put 32 West … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/college-football-questions-2006-version/
This was forwarded from Shayne Gad. As a transplanted Texas, I can testify that most, if not all, of these are true.
Hey Y’all,
Here’s what all Texans know. If you’re not a real Texan, then you’re in for an education.
… Read the rest...Armadillos traditionally sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/what-all-texans-know/
Shayne Gad passed this along to us. Thank you, Sir. Esquire magazine runs a segment in every issue called “What I’ve Learned,” where they run quotes and snippets from some famous person.In the January 2004 issue they ran 15 of them, then ended the magazine with one more.
What I’ve learned — By Satan
I prefer Mephistopheles. God calls me Satan.
These days, a lot of people overestimate what they can get for their souls. Frankly, it’s a buyer’s market.… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/what-ive-learned-by-satan/