All posts tagged Science

December 31, 2022 Pun of the Day

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Punniest of Show 2018 Champion: Toby Miceli-Gwiazdowski

Regular contestant Toby Miceli-Gwiazdowski puns on mathematics on the way to a perfect Punniest of Show score at the 2018 O.Henry Pun-Off World Championships. He won a “cheer off” which as used to determine the winner amongst the three perfect scores.

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A Very Cheesy Pun

Found this one online. It really tickled me. Wish I’d thought of it.


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If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate

This visual pun is making the rounds.

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A Micro Snort

Denny Adams submitted this little gem.


My favorite microwave comfort food is Marconi and cheese.… Read the rest...

Math & Science Jokes

This collection of math and science jokes was found online. Some may already be on the site, but worth sharing again.

The authors to these are unknown. By anyone, I imagine.


A mathematician walks into a bar and asks for ten times the normal number of drinks anyone else has. “Wow,” says the barkeep, “That’s an order of magnitude.”


An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. … Read the rest...

Fossilzzle

This sweet little physics pun doesn’t require the picture, but the picture makes it (IMHO). The creator is unknown.

Velociraptor = Distraptor / TimeraptorRead the rest...

Punslingers Round Two (Video)

Here’s the second round of Punslingers from last weekend’s O. Henry Pun-Off. It’s a mere 41 minutes in length.

Topics included:
– Handwriting Instruments
– Desserts, no Candy
– Exercise
– Magic & Illusions
– Currency & Coins
– Power Tools
– Fruits & Vegetables
– Archeology… Read the rest...

Punslingers Round One (Video)

Here’s the first round of Punslingers from last weekend’s O. Henry Pun-Off. Grab some popcorn, because it runs for almost seventy minutes of puns!

Topics included:
– Space Travel
– Toys
– Candy, no Desserts
– Metal
– Photography
– Disney
– World War II
– Bread
– Mythology
– Headwear
– Chemistry
– Flowers
– Geology
– Hair, no Products
– Glassware
– Olympics… Read the rest...

Warped and Shaggy

This scientific tale is from Joe Blake.


A scientist had invented a new space drive, called a Dark Drive, because when it was initiated, the vehicle it was driving was converted into quarks, which were twisted by a powerful magnetic field, so that the stream of quarks warped into another dimension. This warping had the side effect of attracting all the photons within a relatively small radius, hence with the field of operation it got dark.

He attended a scientific … Read the rest...

Where Do Astronauts Hang Out?

Bob Dvorak sent this in. The original source is unknown.


Where do Austronauts Hang out?Read the rest...

Watt is Love?

I’ve seen this one floating around for a while, and finally got around to posting it.


What is love? Baby don't hertz me. Don't hertz me, No morseRead the rest...

New Quickies

Here’s a new list of short ones making the rounds. Thanks to Don Drinnon.


I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. Yep – it’s syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. BUT, He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This … Read the rest...

Whack-a-Mole

Here’s an original by Alan B. Combs.


Wisdom for New Chemists - Mole - MicromoleRead the rest...

Sub-Atomic Puns

These puns are stolen from various spots all over the internet. Most of them are older than the internet itself.

The compilation is mine…


They say all are welcome to worship, but even the Catholic Church has to have some standards. One Sunday morning, Father Bohr was having a hard time keeping undesirables out.

First was Dr. Schrodinger and his cat. The priest said, “You can’t bring that cat in here. It looks half dead!”

An electron, a proton and … Read the rest...

Heard at the PunOff

I do not remember who said it, but I liked it.


May the [Mass X Acceleration] be with you, Luke… Read the rest...

The Sprouting Behavior of Heat-Treated Timepieces

From the groaners listserv, a classic shaggy dog.


THE SPROUTING BEHAVIOR OF HEAT-TREATED TIMEPIECES
A Controlled Experiment

INTRODUCTION:

Watch sprouting has been a controversial problem, complicated by popular misunderstanding of even its basic issue. This report undertakes to resolve the question definitively by careful experiment.

SUBJECTS:

60 new watches (12 each from Bulova, Casio, Rolex, Seiko, and Timex) were used, each pretested to be at least 99.9% accurate. Mechanical watches were fully wound. Electronic ones were equipped with fresh batteries.… Read the rest...

Effects of Gene Splicing

Since it seems that gene-splicing has become a reality, all those old jokes about crossing a parrot with a centipede* are within the realm of possibility. Here are a few examples of what could happen.


Cross an Indian monkey with a vine of the legume family and a plant with yellow cup-shaped flowers and you’ll get a Rhesus Peanut Buttercup.

Cross a Sasquatch and a baboon and you’ll get a Sassoon. An animal that lurks in the suburbs at night, … Read the rest...

Shockingly Shaggy

Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on October 15, 2010.


I add dried fruit to take the place of some of the suet. I call it the displacement currants.

This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...

Another Obituary

This is by Stan Kegel.


Los Angeles Times, 02/17/02:

Dr. Vincent Beraid, an expert in designer genes, specialized in creating large animals for meat production.

Dr. Beraid’s death occurred during the development of a hog weighing over two tons. Dr. Beraid used almost eighty gorilla clones trained to carry out the mundane daily tasks of caring for this brute, who looked remarkably like Jabba the Hut.

One of the complicating factors in caring for this beast was his terrible bad … Read the rest...

An Obituary

An alternative tale to “Geothermal Mistake”, this comes from the pun group on yahoo.com.


ATHOL, WY (DPI) — A freak accident at an experimental geothermal power plant claimed the life of noted electro-nutritionist Dr. Otto Mymynd.

Mymynd earned the scorn of his colleges in his early years when he called them myopic sycophants. He later gained their flattery with such inventions as the infrared flashlight, the burpless cucumber, methane deficient cabbage and the environmentally safe tofu laser.

The accident was … Read the rest...

Shaggy and Stoned II

Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on August 24, 2010.


I can lead you forth to the pumiced land.

This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...

Shaggy Stats

Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on May 2, 2010.


I call this the Poiss-in-Boots method.

This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...

One that got away…

A fish tail by Bob Dvorak.


With a brash combination of selective breeding and genetic modification, Earl had managed to produce herring that grew about twenty percent faster, and equally larger, than the natural fish.

Eager to cash in on his labors, he synopsized his four years of work and submitted it to a scholarly journal. The peer review process was both quick and deadly.

“Insufficient records.” “Lack of controls.” “Insufficient data.” “Consistently unreproduceable results.” “Insufficient sample size.” On and … Read the rest...

Bring Me Some Shaggy Newtons V

xkcd is a webcomic by Randall Munroe. Sometimes he includes puns that are usually of a mathematical and/or scientific nature.


Really? Sounds a little bit ... derivative.

This work is copyrighted and is licensed by xkcd under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.5 Generic Licence.… Read the rest...