All posts tagged Ralph D. Jeffords

Classical Music Food Puns

Ralph D. Jeffords said the following:

“I’ve noted that you don’t have this classic classical music composers pun. As per usual I was not satisfied with the original so have tripled the number of entries on the list to extend the groan potential.”

HAYDN’S CHOPIN LISZT AT VIVALDI’S GENERAL STORE:
———————————————–

FOOD ITEMS
———-

DELICATESSEN
Rossini and cheese
beans and Francks
chicken Balakirev
Satie mushrooms
Rubinstein sandwich
Clementi and biscuits
Delius sliced ham
Fresh Mozart-rella cheese
Oscar Meyerbeer bologna

PACKAGED … Read the rest...

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by on December 5, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in Gatling Puns, Puns, Rated G
Tagged , ,
Posted by Brian P. Combs on December 5, 2014

http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/classical-music-food-puns/

Queen Elizabeth I

This is a pun by Ralph D. Jeffords. Thank you, Sir.

It was early one summer that the Royal Bell Ringers were about to prepare for the annual ringing of the bells at Canterbury Cathedral. In celebration of the event Queen Elizabeth I arranged that each person involved be adorned with a celebratory crown made of flowers, twigs and the local cherries that were just now in season.

About this same time, her imprisoned cousin, Mary Queen of Scots, was … Read the rest...

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by on June 1, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Puns, Rated G
Tagged , , , ,
Posted by Alan B. Combs on June 1, 2010

http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/queen-elizabeth-i/

The Veterinarian’s Bill

Ralph D. Jeffords reports he could not find this currently popular pun on the website. He’s exactly correct; this is a clear omission. He tells us:

I was surprised that the following groaner is not included at your site. I found 273 sites of what is pretty much the same version I originally saw over 3 years ago via GOOGLE: ( “veterinary” “cat scan” “lab work” ). My version extends this with an additional PUNch line on ‘blood test’ as … Read the rest...

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by on August 20, 2005  •  Permalink
Posted in Rated G
Tagged , ,
Posted by Alan B. Combs on August 20, 2005

http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-veterinarians-bill/

Hair Restorer

This is from Ralph D. Jeffords who says, ” Here’s another original for you that I did several years ago and almost forgot about.”

Bubba had been losing his hair gradually over the years and unlike some black men who were proud of the “eight-ball” look, he was quite embarrassed about his shiny, black pate. One day he was talking about this with his friend Vincent, who remarked, “You know, man. My crazy brother is working on a hair restorer. … Read the rest...

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by on December 28, 2004  •  Permalink
Posted in Puns, Rated G
Tagged , ,
Posted by Alan B. Combs on December 28, 2004

http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/hair-restorer/

Gore on the Rampage

This is by Ralph D. Jeffords. Thank you.

Tipper and Al Gore were having a real knock-down, drag-out fight at home one day. Before things got too out of hand, Tipper escaped out the front (and only) door to their abode, slammed it shut, turned the key, and drove off to get help. Unfortunately for Al, there was no way from within to open the bolt once the key had been turned from the outside. By the time that Tipper … Read the rest...

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by on September 6, 2004  •  Permalink
Posted in Puns, Rated G
Tagged ,
Posted by Alan B. Combs on September 6, 2004

http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/gore-on-the-rampage/

Write of Passage

This is an original by “Ralph D. Jeffords” who says, “I really enjoy your shaggy dog archive. My dad taught me an appreciation for this form of humor as a kid growing up, and we both still enjoy these groaners. Here is one to add to your collection (the part about the Tockey relatives is actually true).

I have recently caught the genealogy bug, and in my investigations I have discovered that I am distantly related to a bunch with … Read the rest...

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by on August 1, 2004  •  Permalink
Posted in Rated G
Tagged ,
Posted by Brian P. Combs on August 1, 2004

http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/write-of-passage/