This short tale is by Linda L. Wilkinson (aka Blessing) on alt.callahans.

Blessing quickly leaves her usual spot at the end of the bar and flits over to the Bookshelf(tm). A heavy, black-bound volume quietly rises into the air, the pages flipping. “Hmmm, ah!..nope..mmmmmmm…” The pages flip back again. “Sorry, dear Xzerrion (the previous punster). I’ve scanned the Compleat Thirteen Volume Set of Twelve Step Programs and the only thing that comes close is a group for Arizonians who can’t … Read the rest...