All posts tagged Lin Ka-Ming

Space and Horse Opera, A Hybrid Tale

This has been waiting in my stack for too long. It is by LIN KA-MING (Magus Firecow). Kind of a Texas tale, don’t ya know.


A long, long time from now…

Machines have developed into sentient beings, starting with the high tech space stuff (Right Sputnik Overhead?) and a whole new set of different mechanistic species came to existence. The machines were not only sentient, but soon became alive in other ways as well. They began to produce offspring and … Read the rest...

Training The Jedi Knights

This is one of the few remaining unposted remnants from Magus Firecow (aka Ka-Ming Lin).


I had a pun about this that’s too terrible even for me to tell, Jedi Knight, anyways…

So there’s this huge period of time when there were no new Jedis strong enough in the Force for Yoda to train. Many many years he was stuck on his tushie, essential an unemployed Jedi Master, with nothing to do except wait and wait, while his planet slowly … Read the rest...

To Keep Your Minds Lumber

This is by Lin Ka-Ming (aka Magus Firecow). This was on alt.callahans a few years ago. We need for him to finish his degree and come back.


“I met a coupla old friends of mine the other day. They’re brothers and both of them are lumberjacks. (And they are O.K., if you must know) Last time I had seen them, they had decided to strike it out on their own and quit their tree-cutting jobs with the big company to … Read the rest...

Escargo To Go

This is by LIN KA-MING (aka Magus Firecow) on alt.callahans under the title of “Attila the Pun III”.


“That story reminds me of the time…” says Magus Firecow from behind his Dry Blessing (no cream, whipped or otherwise, and barely any sugar at all…).

“I was a crewman on a ship running muskets and gunpowder into France a couple hundred years ago when this story took place. Our captain was none other than the-never-heard-of-before Captain Captain. A clever man he … Read the rest...

Bad Pharmaceuticals

The following exchange took place a few years ago on that virtuous (or was that virtual) bar, alt.callahans. Here we feature John Barnstead followed by Magus Firecow.


Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat tsk tsks sadly at the misinformation willfully propagated by this no doubt well-intentioned morality tale (a tale formerly included in this collection): imagine ANYONE considering being made a MOUSE to be a PROMOTION (in anything but the advertising sense of that word…). He meows mournfully, which, being … Read the rest...

Jailbreak

This was published in 1996 by LIN KA-MING (Magus Firecow [kamin@mms.utoronto.ca]) of alt.callahans. It has many of the characteristics of an original-style shaggy dog, but it’s better than that.


Another ‘quiet’ evening at Callahans, Fast Eddie is doing Baby Grand with Ray Charles on the left hand and Billy Joel on the right. Mike is blessing the regulars with alarming frequency and a thousand discussions dance ballet around each other, with each speaker adding a different view on many themes. … Read the rest...

To See my Sal

In response to my story about Salvidor Dali (now No. 254 on our punsite), Lin Ka-Ming (aka Magus Firecow, posted the following on alt.callahans.


“That reminds me of my own Salvidor Dali story”, says Magus Firecow. “It was quite some time ago when I met the man for the first, and as far as I can recall, only time. I remember being introduced by one of my old friends to the great artist. He was sitting at his desk, and … Read the rest...

Snow What

This was posted on alt.callahans by LIN KA-MING (Magus Firecow [kamin@mms.utoronto.ca]).


Magus Firecow, overawed at all the recent wordplays decides that he’s overdue in contributing another one…

“Once, a pun, a dime, if you’d like more, ask about our bulk rate…

“Once a pun a time, there lived a brave prince, an evil step-mother, a magic mirror, a poisonous apple, seven dwarves, and a beautiful lady named Snow White.

“Seeing as how you all know how most of this story … Read the rest...

Gamey Dice II

I recently posted the pun, Gamey Dice, a pun that was created by Lin Ka-Ming (aka Magus Firecow). The punchline in this story was “Milton’s pair of dice lost to Al + Gary’s define comedy”.

To which John Barnstead replied:

The first omitted bit concerns the fabled Kublai Khan Kallahan’s Mystic Artifact Repository Tower (aka KKK-MART), which, as the architecturally astute Magus has rightly indicated, had serious structural flaws. These had, in fact, brought about the collapse of the tower … Read the rest...

Gamey Dice

This was posted a couple of years ago on alt.callahans by Lin Ka-Ming (aka Magus Firecow).


Magus Firecow, finally done with finals returns to AC, to deliver the following:

Milton Bradley, those famous board game makers were successful because they had supernatural help. You see, they were given two dice that contained the answers to all the questions one could possibly ask.

These powerful random number generators are kept in the little known, Super-natural Mystic Artifact Repository Tower – All-knowing … Read the rest...

Garland Tale

This gem comes from Magus Firecow (aka Lin Ka-Ming) [kamin@mms.utoronto.ca]. He is one of the masters of the shaggy dog. (RL = real life and a.c. = alt.callahans. Mike is the man behind the bar.)


It’s been over a month since Magus Firecow was last roaming about the wired world. His RL persona has been swamped with unbelievable amounts of work (whine whine whine. Pity me, I’m busy, yeah I know how pathetic it sounds…), but he’s finally found a … Read the rest...

Ride the Tilt-a-World

This is by Ming Ka-Lin (Magus Firecow). It was posted on alt.callahans.


Magus Firecow looks up from the manuscript that has been holding his attention. “Hey everybody, I’ve just finished reading this, it’s proof of life on Mars. The Sojourner mission (the real one, not the faked pictures they keep showing everybody) has found a copy of an old Martian play. Here’s a synopsis. A man from Mars decides to visit the shroud covered planet of Venus, of which almost … Read the rest...