Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on December 7, 2009.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-halfling-xiv/
Or was that pungent comments? This came from Sis-In-Law Marbella.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with ‘Guess’ on it. So I said ‘Implants?’ She hit me.
Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.
I signed up for an exercise … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/cogent-comments/
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on April 5, 2008.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-halfling-ix/
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on June 21, 2007.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/rock-the-cascabel/
From David Curly to the groaners listserv.
Stupid Questions . . . The most complete list in one place!
… Read the rest...A stitch in time saves nine what?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
Afer they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
Are female moths called myths?
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
Are there any unguided missiles?
Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/stupid-questions-a-list/
From the groaners listserve.
You’ve probably heard of “deja vu,” the illusion of having previously experienced a situation that is happening now. Here are some related expressions:
I feel like I’ve…
… Read the rest...…milked this cow before: deja moo
…seen this strange animal before: deja gnu
…smelled this bad odor before: deja phew
…visited this menagerie before: deja zoo
…scared this person away before: deja boo
…read this mystery book before: deja clue
…been in this courtroom before: deja sue
…felt this
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/deja-vu/
Posted by Stan Kegel in groaners listserv.
My brother, David, who lives in Maine, tells this story.
Several years ago David owned a roan stallion he had trained to hunt moose. His stallion could smell moose at least a mile away. Of course, many people make similar claims. Most, who have been near enough to notice, agree that moose do have a distinctive odor.
When moose season arrived, David would saddle up the roan and ride off into the woods. … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-hunter/
By Alan B. Combs. I have several times commented that I work in the Stadium Office during U. Texas home football games for minimum wage and the war stories. This is one of my favorites.
In November 2001 I posted the following tale (alt.callahans) about my nomination for the annual Darwin Awards. Several folks corrected me in that the perp actually survived the episode, and therefore, by definition, was not eligible.
The Daily Fishwrapper posted the results from the trial. … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/how-it-all-turned-out-long/
This tale has been bouncing around the internet. I received this version from Aunt Jimmie.
I had a flat tire Yesterday, so I got out of the car and opened the trunk.
I took out my cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear
of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so life like you wouldn’t believe it!
Cars start slowing down looking at my lifelike men which made it safer for me to work at the … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/wisdom-for-a-flat-tire/
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on May 1, 2006.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-halfling-iv/
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on January 21, 2006.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-fur-coat/
This is by Bob Dvorak. Frequently his stories are wonderfully subtle, and you have to listen to the language as it is spoken to get the pun; such is the case with this one.
On our vacation my wife and I traveled to a remote corner of the province of Ontario. We drove into the small village and, lacking directions to our cabin, stopped at the little wood-frame building that said, simply, “Village Hall — Police Station”.
We walked in. … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/lost-lake-cabins-ontario/
This was forwarded by Mel Lett.
Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, “I cain’t unnerstand how you kin be so much bigger ‘n me. We’re the same age, we was the same size as kids..I just don’t get it.”
“Well,” said the big ‘gator, “What you been eatin’, boy?”
“Lawyers, same as you,” replied the small ‘gator.
“Hmm. Well, where do y’all catch ’em?”
“Down at … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/alligators/
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on October 13, 2005.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-john-mcclain/
From the groaners listserv.
Hi, my name is:
… Read the rest...Art, I’m a museum curator.
Chuck, I’m a butcher.
Gene, I’m a DNA researcher.
Curt and Rod, we are in the drapery business.
Will, I’m a lawyer.
Sue. I’m also a lawyer.
Mary. I’m a justice of the peace.
Phillip, I’m a service station attendant.
Bill. I run a collection agency
Grant, I am a loan officer.
Mike. I’m an announcer
Toni and Bob,we are hair dressers.
Gail. I’m a meteorologist
John.
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/lists-hi-my-name-is/
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on December 16, 2004.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-halfling-iii/
This is by Bill Strider and it was published a few years ago on the groaners listserv.
Two park rangers are making their rounds in the Rockies when they discover a guy named Nathan erecting an oil rig on the side of a mountain. He explains that he has been inspired by those ads on the radio, and has decided to drill for beer. The rangers are going to issue a citation, but decide to do something crueler: let him … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/drilling-for-beer/
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar. It was originally published on November 24, 2003.
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-art/
This was posted on the groaners listserv. I have gotten every 419 Nigerian scam posting, except this one.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Uruk of Mordor, charged with the discovery of a number of valuable treasures within Moria. It has come to my notice that the mithril hoard previously owned by Ori of the land of Moria has been found by one of our cave-trolls. Under our laws, the hoard will be shared between our lord Sauron and the … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-419-nigerian-scam-from-uruk/
This tale is from Bill Pardue. Thanks, as always.
The preacher said, “Anyone with ‘special needs’ who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar.”
With that, LeRoy got in line, and when it was his turn, the preacher asked, “LeRoy, what do you want me to pray about for you?”
Leroy replied, “Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing.” The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy’s … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/pray-for-leroy/
From the groaners listserv. Clearly, someone has seen way too many monster movies.
1) When it seems that you’ve killed the monster, never check to see if its really dead.
2) If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion or who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately.
3) Never read … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-survival-guide-for-horror-movie-characters-the-canonical-list/
Here is a new one by Stan Kegel. I am not in sympathy with the Feds who are not in sympathy with terminal cancer patients.
I live in a retirement community where the units are right up next to each other and there is little greenery except near the pool and recreational area. Each unit does have a three by six foot patch where each can grow flowers of his own choosing and it makes the area much warmer and … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/medical-use-of-marijuana/
This is from cousin Roger.
An ATF officer stops at a ranch in South Dakota, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”
The old rancher says, “Okay, but do not go in that field over there.”
The ATF officer verbally explodes saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-alcohol-tobacco-and-firearms-atf-agent/
Sent by Tom Vickery.
Here is a possible solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at the airports. Have a booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you .
It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be none of this crap about racial profiling, and this method would eliminate a long and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift.
Case Closed!… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/airport-security-solution/
Thanks to Lowrie for this gem.
Dead Hobo Reporting Glitch Claims Another White House Appointee
WASHINGTON – U.S. Energy Secretary Stephen Chu announced his resignation this morning amid new reports that Alameda County workers had unearthed more than a dozen additional dead hobo bodies at his former home in Berkeley, California. The Nobel Prize-winning physicist had been the subject of a week-long controversy after he amended his White House application form to declare “3 or 4” hobo corpses in his … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/dead-hobo-reporting-glitch/
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