All posts tagged John Vinson

A Tall Ship Tale #77: Confucian to Our Enemies

Another entry from Paul DeAnguera.

The time-traveling sailors were dismayed to be so royally welcomed by Wang Mang, for this made their mission to repair history all the more disagreeable. Conversation petered out and they nursed their cold tea miserably. Finally the First Mate decided he had to come out with it.

“During our last visit I mentioned that we are visitors from the future,” he reminded the Emperor.

Wang Mang smiled and nodded. “So you did! But that was … Read the rest...

The Fisherman’s Twins

By John Vinson (aka John the Wysard on alt.callahans)

John the Wysard comes into the Bar (Callahans), shaking his head.

“Some of you may know that I come by my occasional punniness honestly: my dad was a *monstrous* punster, and the skill – or the vice – was passed down.”

“Just as an example, I just got this by EMail from my brother Ed. Don’t blame him or me for originating it… but I will confess that we both passed … Read the rest...

What Really Started The War Between the Sexes

John Vinson (John the Wysard) on alt.callahans asks about this:

“You mean… the erotischism?” asks the Wysard.… Read the rest...

Language Evolution…

John (the Wyasrd) Vinson posted this on alt.callahans. It came from another forum and the original author is not known.

EU Directive 456179

“In order to meet the conditions for joining the Single European currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase “Spending a penny” is not to be used after 31st of December 2001. From this date, the correct terminology will be: “Euronating”.”… Read the rest...

A Medieval Murder Mystery

By John Vinson (aka John the Wysard) on alt.callahans

Brave Sir Rowland rode out once upon errantry, seeking that which might come in his way. In a strait pass within the wild forest, he came upon a dreadful sight: in a clearing, amidst trampled grass, lay the body of a knight slain. Drawing anigh, Sir Rowland knew by his shield that it was Sir Boris: a cruel and wicked wight, yet nonetheless a knight of chivalry.

Though he mourned not … Read the rest...


This toxicologically relevant story is by John Vinson (John The Wysard) on alt.callahans.

Some years ago, I was trying to kill off an ant nest (not fire ants, just some inconveniently located Camponotus). I was young and foolish, and didn’t follow the safety instructions… and ended up inhaling quite a bit of the insecticide dust. Yuck!

After the diarrhea, pinpoint pupils, and other immediate effects, I was groggy and disoriented, unable to focus or concentrate, for a day or … Read the rest...

Legal Story (A Tale by Two Johns)

The first part of this tale is by John Vinson (aka John the Wysard). Both were posted in alt.callahans.

John the Wysard comes in, chuckling. “My brother… I haven’t introduced my brother Ed have I?… came up with this the other day, and I thought that the Place would enjoy it:

In a large Eastern city, the movie theaters lobbied and finally got the city council to pass an ordinance prohibiting patrons from bringing outside food or drink into a … Read the rest...

The Parrot’s Tale

This is by John Vinson (aka John the Wysard) on alt.callahans. If you don’t get it, ask your significant computer geek.

John the Wysard (after greeting Snarko and his parrot) introduces the Bar to his new feathered friend of the same species. It’s a large, handsome, blue and green bird with alert eyes and a large bill (in both senses of the term).

“I just bought this handsome bird from an elderly sailor who called himself NaCl. He said he’d … Read the rest...

Helen’s Pun

This was posted by John Vinson (John the Wysard) on alt.callahans. It by his friend Helen.

John the Wysard enters the Bar (having a quick chat with Mark Allread before doing so) and says, “I went to a concert this afternoon with my friend Helen, a new friend named Kitty, and my wife Karen. It was fun.”

“As we left, Helen (a delightful lady in her 70s) told a story…”

“A sea monster was swimming around in the deep ocean … Read the rest...

A night at the bar…

This is by John W. Vinson (John The Wysard) on alt.callahans.

One evening the Place (Callahans) was as lively as usual, all sorts of conversations, laughter, and toasts going on. The door opened and five young men came in together; even in the Place they got some second glances, because they were wearing colorful, exotic looking Eastern European party garb. One of them came up to Mike, introduced himself as Ilye Constantinescu, and asked if he and his band could … Read the rest...