All posts tagged Glenn Gardner

Browser Wars

Glenn Gardner sent this one in.

A long time internet friend from the early days was mourning the death of Firefox on her computer and feeling some trepidation about installing and switching over to CHROME.

I advised her:

Erica, you’ll get along just fine with your new found friend if you remember the KISS principle and don’t gussy him up with all the bells & whistles available. I’ve been happily using Chrome since back in its Beta days.

There are

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Sun Off a Beach

By Glenn Gardner []

I visited a genetic lab and was puzzled by a long necked bird, long legged for shore, pink in body, with a fluorescent blue tuft atop its head, and sporting a gold crucifix. At first I thought perhaps a pool side wader had entered one of those seaside cabanas where indigo bunting, but it turned out it was just a punk flamingo crossed with a great blue hair on. (GG)… Read the rest...

You Religious Nuts – Cut it out, NOW!

This is by Glenn Gardner []. It was published on alt.humor.puns and is posted here with permission.

I saw some strange goings on in the city today. A group of sterile monks in white robes were circling a large urn containing flowers, chanting, raising their hands, bowing to the urn, and performing a kind of ritual on one young member of the group. It appeared to be some sort of vase sect to me.

(© Glenn Gardner 2000)… Read the rest...

Request for URL — Urgent

This is by Glenn Gardner. It was posted on alt.humor.puns.

I received a lovely plaque with my personal monogram engraved on it. I wanted to display it in the garden, held by a small porcelain figurine. I was unable to find one that struck my fancy, but my flamboyant neighbor agreed to stand around holding the monogram, provided I would dress him up in a flashy evening gown. Can anybody here direct me to that new web site I’ve been … Read the rest...

Taking The Shaggy Dog For A Wok

by Glenn Gardner []

An overweight and happily unemployed short order cook was forced to make an effort to seek a job. He didn’t really want to work, but had to make a show of it in order to maintain his Employment Insurance benefits. He applied at a Chinese food emporium and they asked him to audition for the job. Wearing the company uniform was a problem because they only had three sizes, “Slim”, “Medium”, and “Wide”. He was so … Read the rest...