All posts tagged Glenda Konopka

Colonoscopy Comments

This is from Glenda Konopka, a dear professional friend.

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous … A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by some of his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies :

1. “Take it easy, Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. “Find Amelia Earhart yet?”

3. “Can you hear me NOW?”

4. “Are we there yet? Are we there … Read the rest...

Daliance with Bits and Bytes

Thanks to Glenda Konopka for this note of admonition.

Cyrus asks his programmer father:

Daddy, how was I born?

Dad says:

Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway. Well, you see, your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom. Then we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a

Read the rest...

I Woke Up This Morning

This is by Glenda Konopka, an old friend.

I woke up this morning and did what I usually do: made a fresh pot of coffee for my husband and myself. I sat down, read the newspaper, and waited for the coffee to finish brewing.

After finishing the newspaper (coffee still not ready), I went over to my computer and turned it on, accessing my e-mail accounts. I had over 100 e-mails! I started going through them, one by one, most … Read the rest...

Psychiatry and Proctology

Glenda Konopka sent this expanded version of a tale that I remember from my misguided yoot.

Two doctors opened offices in a small town and put up a sign reading “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology”. The town’s fathers were not too happy with that sign, so they changed it to “Hysterias and Posteriors”.

This was not acceptable either, so they changed the sign to “Schizoids and Hemorrhoids”. No go, so they tried “Catatonics and High Colonics”.

Thumbs … Read the rest...

Decorate the Christmas Tree

This is an original groaner by Glenda Konopka who says, “I swear on my children’s lives that I have never, ever done anything like this before, but this is a true story that happened last weekend while we were decorating the tree.”

Christmas was upon us once again and it was time to hang the ornaments on the tree. As anyone who has tackled this annual balance between engineering feat and artistic expression knows, the strategic placement of each ornament … Read the rest...

Mary Poppins Variant

I received this Mary Poppins Variant from Glenda Konopka.

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.

“Certainly madam,” he replied courteously.

“Is the restaurant open still?” inquired Mary.

“Sorry, no,” came the reply, “but room service is available all night.

Would you care to select something from this menu?”

Mary smiled and took the menu … Read the rest...


Glenda Konopka sent this to us. Thanks, Glenda.

Mrs Smith’s third grade class was to use the word Rotterdam in a sentence. Little Jimmy hops up and says, “If my sister doesn’t quit eating so much candy, she will Rotterdam teeth out.”… Read the rest...