All posts tagged Dean Day

Difficult to Rectify

A submission from Dean Day. The original source is unknown (by me).

Two doctors (in the financial district) go to have lunch. When they are finished, one of them offers to pick up the tab, reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a thermometer. “aw, shucks,” he says, “some investment banker must have run off with my pen”.… Read the rest...

feghoots pa

From the archives, a commentary on the Feghoot genera of tales by Dean Day.

feghoots pa said “boy…
life is but a lie, as it were…
it builds green trees to ease our eyes
and draws us under them.
then, while we are resting in the shade
and we breathe in to say
“ah, god, how beautiful”…
that’s when the bird on the branch
lets go his droppings
and hits us on the head.”

feghoot’s thoughts, upon release,
can only … Read the rest...

The Findstrom

Another submission by Dean Day.

Phineas Findstrom was unsurpassed as an inventor. He was best known for curing warts. His invention completely removed warts when the affected part was paced in the device. It was a wild success, and was named the findstrom to honor its maker. Also attributed to these events was the birthing of a new phrase… “It doesn’t stand the chance of a wart in a findstrom.”… Read the rest...

Morning Juice

This was sent to my son, the brewer, by Dean Day.

A microbrery in LA went by the monicker Ugly Ass (you can see the setup coming). It proferred two imbibements: manly rams, which was a wicked stout, and a pale lager known as mollish ewes.

The stout was a wild success, but the lager floundered. The CEO of a competing distillery was asked how he had managed to succeed in the business. He said, “Two reasons. I never owned … Read the rest...