Submitted by Mike Franklin.
I Just asked Siri, “Surely its not going to rain today?”
She said, “It is, and don’t call me Shirley”
It seems that I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.… Read the rest...
All posts tagged Computers
But that’s not important right now…
Posted by Brian P. Combs on February 1, 2017
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/thats-not-important-right-now/
Siri Puns
Apple’s digital assistant Siri has an army of writers working to develop answers to questions common and uncommon. On occasion, the answer has a nifty little pun.
This little Holocaust pun is both inappropriate and funny.
2014/01/14: As I come across more of these Siri puns, I’ll probably add them on here.
… Posted by Brian P. Combs on January 9, 2014
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/siri-puns/
Browser Wars
Glenn Gardner sent this one in.
A long time internet friend from the early days was mourning the death of Firefox on her computer and feeling some trepidation about installing and switching over to CHROME.
I advised her:
… Read the rest...Erica, you’ll get along just fine with your new found friend if you remember the KISS principle and don’t gussy him up with all the bells & whistles available. I’ve been happily using Chrome since back in its Beta days.
There are
Posted by Brian P. Combs on October 16, 2013
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/browser-wars/
Math & Science Jokes
This collection of math and science jokes was found online. Some may already be on the site, but worth sharing again.
The authors to these are unknown. By anyone, I imagine.
A mathematician walks into a bar and asks for ten times the normal number of drinks anyone else has. “Wow,” says the barkeep, “That’s an order of magnitude.”
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. … Read the rest...
Posted by Brian P. Combs on August 16, 2013
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/math-science-jokes/
Shaggy Austrian
… Posted by Brian P. Combs on January 21, 2013
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-austrian/
Don’t Let Adobe’s Lawyers See This!
… Posted by Brian P. Combs on October 16, 2012
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/dont-let-adobes-lawyers-see-this/
Pun in HTML
… Posted by Brian P. Combs on August 1, 2012
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/pun-in-html/
A Shaggy Grammy
This timely little visual pun is making the rounds. The original source is unknown.
… Posted by Brian P. Combs on March 4, 2012
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-shaggy-grammy/
New Office Slang
This was posted at the pun page at yahoogrooups.com. If anyone has useful additions, let me know and I will post them.
404: Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, “404 Not Found,” which means the document requested couldn’t be located. “Don’t bother asking John. He’s 404.”
Adminisphere: The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.
Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on January 18, 2012
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/new-office-slang/
Shaggy Lentils
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on February 27, 2008.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
Posted by Brian P. Combs on March 9, 2011
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-lentils/
Computer Gender
Another salvo in the war between the sexes, this punishment was posted on the groaners listserv.
TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE
5. They’re heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you’ve established a network connection.
3. They’ll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won’t do more than they have to and they won’t think of it on their own.
2. They’re typically obsolete … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on February 20, 2011
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/computer-gender/
Elephant Hunting Tactics Of Various Professionals
From the groaners listserv.
In order to hunt elephants:
A Programmer…
Begins at the tip of South Africa
Performs alternating west to east and east to west searches
Decrements the latitude argument in a non integer sequence between each search
Finds an animal
Compares found animal to a known elephant
If found animal matches known elephant terminates search, else Resumes at 3
End
An Experienced Programmer…
… Read the rest...Places an elephant in Cairo, Egypt to ensure that the search will terminate properly
Posted by Alan B. Combs on September 24, 2010
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/elephant-hunting-tactics-of-various-professionals/
Shaggy Stats
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on May 2, 2010.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
Posted by Brian P. Combs on September 10, 2010
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-stats/
Recursively Shaggy
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on March 25, 2010.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
Posted by Brian P. Combs on September 9, 2010
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/recursively-shaggy/
Shaaaarrrrggy
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on February 4, 2007.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
Posted by Brian P. Combs on August 4, 2010
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaaaarrrrggy/
Epoch on Both Your Houses
xkcd is a webcomic by Randall Munroe. Sometimes he includes puns that are usually of a mathematical and/or scientific nature.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed by xkcd under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.5 Generic Licence.… Read the rest...
Posted by Brian P. Combs on July 26, 2010
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/epoch-on-both-your-houses/
For the Verbavorish Email Sender
Words of advice for the bloggers and prolific email producers — from the groaners listserv.
In promulgating your esoteric cogitations, or articulating your superficial sentimentalities and amicable, philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your conversational communications possess a clarified conciseness, a compact comprehensibility, coalescent consistency, and a concatenated cogency. Eschew all conglomerations of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement and asinine affectations. Let your extemporaneous descantings and unpremeditated expatiations have intelligibility and veracious vivacity, without rhodomontade or thrasonical bombast. … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on July 25, 2010
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/for-the-verbavorish-email-sender/
If Dr. Seuss Did Technical Writing
An old classic from the groaners listserv.
… Read the rest...If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted ’cause the index
Posted by Alan B. Combs on July 24, 2010
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/if-dr-seuss-did-technical-writing/
Open Shaggy Foundation
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on October 10, 2005.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
Posted by Brian P. Combs on July 13, 2010
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/open-shaggy-foundation/
Shaggy Gamma
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on October 4, 2004.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
Posted by Brian P. Combs on June 29, 2010
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-gamma/
Shaggy Operating Systems
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on September 26, 2004.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
Posted by Brian P. Combs on June 27, 2010
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-operating-systems/
Biting Off More than you can Eschew
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on May 11, 2004.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
Posted by Brian P. Combs on June 23, 2010
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/biting-off-more-than-you-can-eschew/
Shaggy Playwright
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This was originally published on October 10, 2003.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
Posted by Brian P. Combs on June 2, 2010
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-playwright/
When Bill Gates Died
From the Shaggydog listserv
Bill Gates died and, much to everyone’s surprise went to Heaven. When he got there, he had to wait in the reception area, which was about the size of Massachusetts.
There were millions of people living in tents. Food and water were being distributed from the backs of trucks, while staffers with clipboards slowly worked their way through the crowd.
Bill lived in a tent for three weeks until, finally, a staffer in his late teens … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on April 9, 2010
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/when-bill-gates-died/
What I’ve Learned From My Computer
Sent by Jo Ann Thomas.
I have learned so much from my computer. I was living in total ignorance.
I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on April 5, 2010
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/what-ive-learned-from-my-computer/