All posts tagged Businesses

Posts about businesses or specific occupations.

December 18, 2022 Pun of the Day

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The Kadinka-Donka Machine

This shaggy story was submitted by Wesley Parish, who says:

“Here’s something you might not have; it was a favourite at Yarralumla Primary in Canberra in the mid-70s.”


There was a rich and not altogether intelligent young man getting bored with his life of excessive privilege. One day while driving at random through the Peruvian Andes, he noticed a sign by the side of the road. It said “Kadinka-Donka Machines Our Speciality”.

So he went along the little side road … Read the rest...

A Pun I Truly Relish

Denny Adams submitted this quick pun.


I went to the grocery store last night, and got to the cashier. She asked, “Paper or plastic?”

I said, “Either is fine. I’m Bi-sacktual.”… Read the rest...

The Best Little Warehouse in Texas

This little gem was submitted by Denny Adams.


Did you hear about the illiterate hooker, who tried to get a job in a warehouse?… Read the rest...

Punslingers Round Two (Video)

Here’s the second round of Punslingers from last weekend’s O. Henry Pun-Off. It’s a mere 41 minutes in length.

Topics included:
– Handwriting Instruments
– Desserts, no Candy
– Exercise
– Magic & Illusions
– Currency & Coins
– Power Tools
– Fruits & Vegetables
– Archeology… Read the rest...

Punslingers Round One (Video)

Here’s the first round of Punslingers from last weekend’s O. Henry Pun-Off. Grab some popcorn, because it runs for almost seventy minutes of puns!

Topics included:
– Space Travel
– Toys
– Candy, no Desserts
– Metal
– Photography
– Disney
– World War II
– Bread
– Mythology
– Headwear
– Chemistry
– Flowers
– Geology
– Hair, no Products
– Glassware
– Olympics… Read the rest...

Don’t Let Adobe’s Lawyers See This!

This is probably my favorite picture pun in a long time.


Adobe Photo ShopRead the rest...

Brothel Sues Church (Adult Content)

Stan Kegel recently posted this to the Puns at Yahoo group. I do think it is an older tale, one that speaks too well to our human condition.


Diamond D’s brothel began construction on an expansion of their building to increase their ever-growing business. In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the business from expanding with morning, afternoon, and evening prayer sessions at their church.

Work on Diamond D’s progressed right up until the week before … Read the rest...

If I only had a Brain…

Another picture pun. I think this one is a bit more clever than most.


This job isn't for everyone - But hay... It's in my jeansRead the rest...

The Coke Salesman in Israel

Dave Wallace sent this in. He says he got it from a friend whose first husband was Jewish. Beyond that, it’s origin is unknown.


A disappointed salesman of Coca-Cola returned from his assignment to Israel.

A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Israelis?”

The salesman explained, “When I got posted, I was very confident I would make a good sales pitch. But I had a problem. I didn’t know how to speak Hebrew. So I planned to convey … Read the rest...

New Quickies

Here’s a new list of short ones making the rounds. Thanks to Don Drinnon.


I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. Yep – it’s syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. BUT, He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This … Read the rest...

Shaggy Dog Gone

I received this one in my inbox yesterday. It’s original creator is not known.


Kia - NokiaRead the rest...

New Office Slang

This was posted at the pun page at yahoogrooups.com. If anyone has useful additions, let me know and I will post them.


404: Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, “404 Not Found,” which means the document requested couldn’t be located. “Don’t bother asking John. He’s 404.”

Adminisphere: The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.

Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office … Read the rest...

Memo to Customer Service

From Kirk Miller and posted to shaggydog@yahoogroups.com.


MEMO TO CUSTOMER SERVICE

This proves two things: 1) you’re not the only one who gets crappy service from your ISP, and 2) the Brits get better educations than most Americans, enabling them to write damned fine letters of complaint.

(NTL is a cable operator in Britain.)

Dear Cretins,

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and … Read the rest...

Something in My Stocking

This came to me while I was waiting for her to do her shopping. By Alan B. Combs


My wife went shopping for Christmas at one of our local chain department stores. I can’t say I’ve really been a good boy. I can’t even say I’ve tried very hard. Thus, I am pretty much assured of getting Kohl’s in my stocking.… Read the rest...

The New Job

This was posted by Stan Kegel on puns@yahoogroups.com.


A man walked into a temporary agency looking for some work.

“Here, fill these forms out and bring them back to me when you’re done,” the office administrator said.

The man finished the forms and brought them back to the administrator. “Very good,” she said as she looked them over. “We actually have a job for you,” she added. “It just came in. It’s at the library.”

“Great,” the man said. “When … Read the rest...

If Airlines Sold Paint

This story is at least ten years old. What it doesn’t have are the TSA grabbings and pat downs.


Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?

     Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.

Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?

     Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different
prices up to $200 a gallon.

Customer: What’s the difference in the paint?

     Clerk: Oh, there isn’t … Read the rest...

Snow White

This was posted by Stan Kegel on the groaners listserv. It sticks in my mind that I had a version of this one, but I cannot find any documentation of such.


Snow White received a camera as a gift. She joyfully took many pictures of the Dwarves, the forest, the animals, etc. She quickly finished her first roll, and immediately took the film into town to be developed.

“How long before they’re ready?” Snow asked the clerk.

He informed her … Read the rest...

Begging for a Chance

This tale is by Ted Brett.


Perhaps one of the most common jobs for young people as they work their way through college or try to pick up some extra money while still in high school is to work at local supermarkets. Most start out as baggers at the check-out counters, but occasionally promotions and opportunities come along and the chance for a little more money becomes important.

One young man had worked bagging groceries for a year but never … Read the rest...

Corporate Planning

Another venerable tale from the groaners listserv.


The Corporate Plan

From the Book of Corporate Life. Chapter 1,   verses1-15:

1. In the beginning was the Plan.

2. And then came the Assumptions.

3. And the Assumptions were without form.

4. And the Plan was without Substance.

5. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.

6. And the Workers spoke among themselves saying, “It is a crock of  
shit and it stinks.”

7. And the Workers went unto their … Read the rest...

Today’s Stock Market Report

This is from the groaners listserv.


Helium was up,

Feathers were down.

Paper was stationary.

Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.

Knives were up sharply.

Cows steered into a bull market.

Pencils lost a few points.

Hiking equipment was trailing.

Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.

Weights were up in heavy trading.

Light switches were off.

Mining equipment hit rock bottom.

Diapers remain unchanged.

Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.

The market for raisins dried up.… Read the rest...

Armageddon Headlines

This is from the groaners listserv.


When the end of the world arrives, how will the media report it?

USA Today:
     WE’RE DEAD

The Wall Street Journal:
     DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS

National Enquirer:
     O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN

Playboy:
     GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE

Microsoft Systems Journal:
     APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE

Victoria’s Secret Catalog:
     OUR FINAL SALE

Sports Illustrated:
     GAME OVER

Wired:
     THE LAST NEW THING

Rolling Stone:
     THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR

Readers Digest:
     ‘BYE

Discover Magazine:
     HOW

Read the rest...

Newspaper Headlines

This from the groaners listserv.


A rich newspaper owner decided to give his business to one of his three sons. He told them that he would give the paper to the one who could come up with the most sensational headline with no more than four words.

The following is what they came up with:

The first son came up with a four word headline: BUSH SUPPORTS UNLIMITED ABORTIONS!

The second son responded: AL QAEDA BECOMES CHRISTIAN!

The winner was … Read the rest...

The Budget Lion Tamer

This is from the groaners listserv.


Once there was a circus that was without a doubt the best circus in the world because it boasted the best lion tamer in the world. He was spectacular, the lions would do whatever he said, the high point of course was that he would stick his head in a lion’s mouth.

When the circus started losing money the owner started selling off animals and equipment to help meet expenses.

He called the Lion … Read the rest...

The Burrito’s To Blame

This was published on the groaners listserv.


“It’s $5.37”. That’s what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot,

I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to … Read the rest...