All posts tagged Bill Pardue

Grey Hairs

Bill Pardue sent this tale to us. The author is not known. Now that we have become grandparents, I can only say, “Amen!”

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at he kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”

Her mother replied, … Read the rest...

Evolution of Teaching Math

Bill Pardue sent this to me. He is a veteran of these teaching wars.

Teaching Math in 1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1960:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1970:
A logger exchanges a set “L” of lumber … Read the rest...


Bill Pardue sent me this little lesson on the true meaning of forgiveness.

Dear Matt:

I have been unable to sleep since I forced my daughter to break off her engagement to you. Will you forgive and forget? I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tattoo, and pierced nose. I now realize motorcycles aren’t really that dangerous, and I really should not have reacted that way to the fact that you have never held a job. I am sure, … Read the rest...

Kenny & The Donkey

Bill Pardue sent this very topical tale. How’s your retirement doing, by the way?

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.”

Kenny replied, “Well then, just give me my money back.”

The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went … Read the rest...

Concept Altogether Unclear

Bill Pardue sent me this lovely tale.

A priest and pastor from the local churches are standing by the side of the road pounding a sign into the ground that reads, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!”

“Leave us alone you religious nuts!” yelled a driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

The pastor turns to the priest and asks, “Do you think our … Read the rest...

Water to wine

Bill Pardue continues to be a wonderful source of these tales.

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?”

Just water,” says the priest.

The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?”

The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! … Read the rest...

Unclear on the Concept

This was sent to me by Bill Pardue.

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color … Read the rest...

The Old Cowboy

Bill Pardue sent us this small piece of … tale.

An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”

He replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am.”

She said, “I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day … Read the rest...

To See Ourselves as Others See Us

Bill Pardue sent me this tale. I have been invited to my High School Reunion this Summer. Perhaps, I should rethink seriously about it.

While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. … Read the rest...

Texas Soldiers

Bill Pardue sent this to me. Such tales are a sign of the times The original author is unknown, but I suspect it is a very old tale, modified.

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down the dusty road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune, “One Texas soldier is better than ten Taliban.”

The Taliban commander quickly sends ten of his best soldiers over the dune, whereupon, a battle breaks out and continues … Read the rest...

Shaggy George W.

I received this from Bill Pardue. It appears to have been bouncing around for a little while, already.

George W. said to an aide. “I gotta see what all this Jewish stuff is about.” So off they went to a kosher restaurant. The first course was set in front of them: Matzoh ball soup.

George W. was grossed out and hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently, the aide said, “Just have a taste. If you don’t like it, … Read the rest...