Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Suicidal Blonde

Category: Rated G

Oh, golly! Bill Pardue sent me a potfull of jokes of this genus. Thanks, Bill.


A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

‘How did this happen?’ the emergency room doctor asked her.

‘Well, I was trying to commit suicide,’ the blonde replied.

‘What?’ sputtered the doctor. ‘You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?’

‘No, silly’ the blonde said. ‘First I put the gun to my chest, & then I thought, ‘I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants… I’m not shooting myself in the chest.’

‘So, then?’ asked the doctor.

‘Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, ‘I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.’

‘So, then?’

‘Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: ‘This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.


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