This is from Shayne Gad.

When you have a ‘I Hate My Job’ day, [even if retired you have those sometimes] try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer
section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock
your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be
disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the
package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or
a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will
notice that in small print there is a statement:

‘Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized. ‘

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,’I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.’