Subject: Catcall

This is a recent offering from Sailor Jim Johnston at the virtual bar, alt.callahans.

Sailor Jim wanders in, still wearing a fetching pair of pajamas and yawning.

“Sorry, had nowhere else to go. Dian kicked me out of bed and … is it just me or have Saturday morning cartoons really gone down hill? I dunno, but – Good morning, Mike .. might I have an Irish Coffee, minus the irish?

“An Irish Coffee, without the irish, is called ‘a cup of coffee,’ Sailor. And why, if ya don’t mind my asking, did Dian de-sheet you? You trying that tricky Hindu stuff again?”

“No … well, not this time, at any rate. I happened to comment – ahhhhh, now that smells good, thank you Mike – I made an unwise comment and she took extreme umbrage. You see, her cat – Wade – wakes her every morning around six. He gets all fluffy and hops up on the bed and ‘mer-wows’ at her in a low and needful voice until she finally says ‘Hi, Wade’ and pets him. Been going on since he was a kitten. Every morning, ‘mer-wow … mer-wow … mer-wow … mer-wow,’ then ‘Hi, Wade’ and she falls back asleep petting him. She leaves a hand on him and he, perfectly happy now, stays until she reawakens.”

“Sounds almost disgustingly charming, Jim. Sooooooooooo … ?”

“Well, this morning she woke up enough to notice that I was awake and watching the ceremony and asked me what I made of it. She said, ‘Why do you suppose he does this every morning?'”


“And I told her that it was proof of reincarnation and that Wade was obviously possessed the reincarnated spirit of one of those thief’s that used to hold up carriages in old England. When she told me she didn’t understand, I pointed to her hand petting Wade. ‘A clear cut case of ‘Hi, Wade’ rub-bery!'”


“Yes, Mike?”

“Leave my bar.”

“Yes, Mike … maybe Dian gone back to sleep and I can sneak back into bed.”

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