Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

Stool Pigeon

Category: Rated G

Punmaster Gary Hallock creates these like a sparkler. For example:

Sometimes a punning opportunity is just too good for its own good. That is to say, the situation sets you up so well that you suspect divine intervention. I had such a moment recently when I was visiting my parents.

Unlike many men, my father is surprisingly good about NOT leaving the toilet seat up. Consequently, he’s often critical of those who do. Whenever he senses that I am heading toward his bathroom, he is always quick to remind me I should remember to put the lid down. Well, in the first place, I’m no stool pigeon and, number two, there are certain toilet activities that actually don’t actually require the complete lifting of the lid. Recently as I endured yet another preemptive admonishment from Dad, I attempted to placate him with the following statement. “I came to bare-rear a seat, sir, not to up-raise it.”

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