Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Steppers

Category: Rated G

I have tried to collect as many as possible of the classic shaggy dog stories/groaners for our shaggy dog page. This is an old classic which was not in my collection. I thank Stan Kegel for sending it from his archives.


There was this troupe of dancers that traveled around the country dancing in clubs and theaters. They were called the Steppers. At one club, the Steppers did such a good job of pulling in patrons that the management gave them all the drinks they could drink after the show.

Well, they all got plastered and were having a big party. When it came time to get on their bus to travel to the next town, they did not want to stop partying, so they just moved the party to the bus. As they rode down the highway, you could here their yelling, singing, and laughing for miles.

At a house along that very highway, there lived a family that had a pet snake. It was a viper, and it’s name was Peter. That night, Peter Viper was asleep in his snake house in the back yard. Suddenly, he was awakened by a loud racket. It was the bus carrying the Steppers still having their party.

But Peter didn’t know that. In his confusion, he thought he was back in deep dark Africa being pursued by Pygmies. He slithered out of his snake house, headed across the yard as fast as he could, and crossed the highway just in front of the bus. The bus driver, who was a little sleepy, saw Peter Viper in the road, and mistook him for a giant log. He swerved, and the bus landed in the ditch, drunk Steppers sliding everywhere.

The next day, the headline in the paper read, . . . “Peter Viper wrecks a truck of pickled Steppers”.

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