This was posted on alt.callahans by Quiet Don. It is to be found on humor sites all over the internet. The original author is unknown. (May the farce be with you.)

Quiet Don steps from the Shadows, a twinkle in his eye, and says, “I don’t know where I heard this last, (parts were in one of the Callahan books), but here goes.”

It was a hot summer’s day, and Luke was in the marina, having a few beers aboard his boat, patriotically named the _Fourth of July_. He was waiting for his friend, Opie, to arrive so they could go for a cruise.

Opie was late, unfortunately, because he had to pick up his wife from her appointment with the obstetrician. Her examinations were cheap because the doctor, a fellow named Juan, was Opie’s cousin. Anyway, the appointment went over time, and Opie was late getting to the marina.

Luke had been drinking all this time, and was feeling no pain. When he saw Opie finally walking down the pier, he jumped up, staggered to the side of the boat to wave to his friend, and nearly fell in! Opie got there just in time to grab Luke.

Thus, it was that O.B. Juan’s kin, Opie, saved Luke from falling to the dock side of the Fourth…