Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Stalled

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated G

This was posted on the groaners listserv.


I was driving to work this morning when my Ford quit in the damp weather.

I was sitting in the car at the side of the highway, contemplating my next move, when a pigeon flew down and landed right in the middle of the hood of the car. It seemed fairly tame, and I soon became fascinated in watching it up close as it strutted around and made cooing noises.

A few minutes passed, and two more pigeons flew in and joined the first bird. Pigeons seem to be attracted by crowds, and soon I was sitting there with a whole hood full of pigeons, all cooing loudly and beginning to change the color of my hood.

Gradually I noticed that the birds seemed to be trying to get my attention, which was unnerving, since I had always regarded pigeons as rather stupid birds.

But, sure enough, several of them were dragging a piece of rope around on the hood, and several others were flying out in front of the car and returning to the hood.

All of a sudden, I realized what they were doing, so I yanked open the door and wildly chased them all off.

No damn way I was going to be pigeon-towed!

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