Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Spiritual Star Trek

Category: Rated G

This is an original by Bob Levi.


I once heard about an American professor who went on an extended sabbatical. He took leave from his teaching duties to do some research at a university in Glasgow. Being someone who liked his nightly pick-me-up, he went to the local pub, the Ram and Tam, when he arrived. He was disappointed to find that the publican, Angus McTavish, did not stock his favorite beverage, Jim Beam bourbon.

Night after night, McTavish attempted to get the professor to sample and learn about single malt Scotch whiskies, some of which were locally distilled and considered to be among the finest in the world. McTavish tried to get the American to drink some of these excellent whiskies, but to no avail. The professor still demanded his bourbon. So, McTavish finally gave up, located a source of the particular brand of bourbon that the professor craved and started serving it to him.

Now when the professor walks into the pub for his nightly libation, he shouts, “Beam me up, Scottie!”

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