Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Some Breakfast!

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Puppy

Tom Vickery sent me this short, tall tale. The author is unknown.


A ninety-five year old cowboy from Montana was on his death bed and called for his family to impart his philosophy and last wishes. When his 16 year old great-grandson sat beside him, the old man passed these words of wisdom on to him. “The secret to my longevity is that I sprinkled a little gunpowder on my oatmeal every morning.”

Soon after, the old man met his maker and his last words left an indelible impression on the young lad. He too, followed the advice to the letter and ninety-seven years later, he too passed on — leaving behind, 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren and an 18 foot hole in the back wall of a crematorium in Helena!

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