Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Soccer? I barely know her!

Category: Rated PG, Short Snorts

Knowledge of Premier League football will help with this submission by Dave Wallace.


Like many of us, I’m embarrassed when I can’t remember the name of a person after our initial introduction.

My local coffee shop proprietor introduced me to her new worker, Chelsea, recently.

Now, I want you to know that I have a system for remembering names by spotting some characteristic of that person and creating an association, or index as a prompt or hint to recall the name.

In Chelsea’s case, what was noticeable was her huge bum (or arse or keister, etc). In fact, you could be excused for thinking she was smuggling a pair of soccer balls.

So the obvious association to me was the [b]English soccer team = Chelsea[/b]. So, the [i]striking bum[/i] -> [i]soccer[/i] -> [i]English team[/i] would lead me to the correct name, Chelsea. Magic! No worries!

And so, a few days later when I visited the coffee shop, I confidently romped right up with my superior, foolproof name-remembering system. “Hey, nice to see you again, Arsenal”!

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