Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Shaggy Triad

Category: Rated G

by Alan B. Combs

There are two common threads in each of these three stories. First, they are about a very famous family. Second, each of these stories has a common punchline or moral. Come along with me as I tell you tales about the Stocking family.


Late in the last century, the Stocking Uncles were notorious cattle rustlers in the Chimney Hill area near Austin (frequently accompanied by an ancestor of our own Dr. Kehrer). These ne’er-do-wells were the bane of the more staid ranchers living in the area. For many years, they did their deeds with impunity. Finally, they were captured near their home and subjected to the rough version of frontier justice. What was their fate?

(This part of the story came from Waneen S. as a seasonal offering.) The Stocking family included Bill Stocking, Mary Stocking, Andy Stocking, Nora Stocking, Susie Stocking, Sylvia Stocking and their dog, named Care. It was their Christmas tradition to hang their Christmas socks, on the mantel in hopes that St. Nicholas would put something in them overnight. Even their dog had a sock, that was a little replica of himself. What happened on Christmas Eve?

As they grew older, the Stocking sisters grew increasingly unhappy with their lot in life. Men had much more fun and clearly were the *superior* sex. They tried to arrange for an operation to make the necessary changes, but, found it very difficult to find physicians who would make this change for all the sisters, and do it on an outpatient basis. Finally they were able to make contact with painstaking and reliable urologists and plastic surgeons who were willing to do the surgery at home in front of the fireplace. What was the outcome?

In each case, the Stockings were hung by the chimney with care.

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