Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Shaggy Strawberry Milk Shake

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

This shaggy story was posted on the groaners listserv by its author, Louise Brady.


Once upon a time there was a sweet little boy named Bobby. One fine summer day the family decided to take an automobile trip through the hill country of Iowa. They loved the rolling hills with the corn growing so bright and so pretty.

Well, Bobby had a real love for strawberry milk shakes. He REALLY loved them. And every time the family went on a trip, Little Bobby would ask for a strawberry milk shake.

So as they were traveling through these lovely cornfields, up and down the hills, Little Bobby spotted a Dairy Queen and said, “Mommy, Mommy, can we stop and get a strawberry milk shake?”

And his mother thought that was a fine idea so they pulled over, got out of the car, went into the Dairy Queen and Little Bobby ordered his beloved strawberry milk shake. His father ordered a vanilla ice cream cone and his mother ordered some curly fries.

But as they were walking out the door, and Bobby began to sip his delicious strawberry milk shake, he noticed it wasn’t as cold as usual. He became quite agitated! He said to his mother, “Mommy, Mommy, this milk shake is not as cold as it should be. It doesn’t taste right.”

So the family went back into the Dairy Queen and told the clerk.

The clerk replied, “Yes, that’s probably true, we have run out of crushed ice.”

Well, Bobby was quite insistent that the milk shake be colder. So the clerk said, “Well, all we have at this point are ice cubes. We could add a few of those.”

This perked Bobby right up, he handed the milk shake back to the clerk, and the clerk filled it with five ice cubes. Of course, it immediately became colder.

However, with the thinness of the milk shake, because it lacked the thickness of crushed ice, the ice rattled within the glass when Bobby walked, going clink, clink, clink. It was a rather odd noise for milk shake but Bobby got in the car with his family and continued to sip his wonderful milk shake. It was strawberry, you know, and that was his very favorite.

Well, off they went, up and down the golden hills of Iowa. This family should have been having a lot of fun, but Little Bobby was bothered! The ice rattling against the glass was beginning to get on his nerves.

Finally, he could stand it no longer. At the top of a rather large hill, Bobby shouted, “Stop the car!”

Well, the anxious father immediately stopped the car and asked him what was wrong. And Bobby, without even answering his father, got out of the car, and violently threw his strawberry milk shake down the hill, ice cubes and all.

Yes, Bobby’s shake rattled and rolled.

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