Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Shaggy Palm Story

Category: Rated PG

This little story is from Dave Wallace.


I’ve had a rotten week, mostly, as I’ve had a nasty digestive condition which caused sudden, unplanned dashes to the bathroom. So I kept in close range and even moved some furniture around so as to have unimpeded access. Girl Next Door (GND) whispered a palliative in my ear & even drove to the pharmacy to get the needed tubing and stuff for me. So, twice a day, I did the simple procedure, and it made life a lot more convenient – no more unplanned dashing off when calling a client or engrossed in complex code!

Sunday rolled around, and as I felt better, I decided the cleansing events didn’t need to be so close. I also needed to prune some dead branches from the palm tree out front, twenty or so feet up. So I got my twenty-four foot extension ladder out (exactly the same climbing equipment used on Everest expeditions!), extended it all the way, and climbed up the ladder carrying a saw. When I had almost finished trimming, two things happened: I leaned out too far & barely saved a nasty fall by grabbing a branch. Then that awful feeling of pressure hit! I slid down, jumped the last few feet and rushed inside. Thankfully I made the Thunder Bowl!

We should learn something from each new day. Today I discovered that it is good to keep your fronds close and your enemas closer.

Dave.

PS. This story was posted on the Whitney Zone, then a friend sent it to another acquaintance who is climbing Mt. Everest. So it is probably all over Base Camp, where they are probably easily amused, having nothing to do, no palm trees, but plenty of ladders and…

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