Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Shaggy Explorers

Category: Rated G

There are numerous versions of this old classic.


Way back in the early days of this country, when men were men and the women were proud, the lure of the untamed West led many to leave all they knew and loved behind, and go toward the setting sun, heading for a new future. As you probably know, the best friend of someone trekking through an unknown and untamed wilderness is a good compass. Alas, even back then, unscrupulous business men preyed on the unsuspecting. Honus Tates, one such man, mass produced an incredibly inexpensive, and therefore extremely popular compass (the Tates Wild-A-Guide).

Unfortunately, it was inexpensive because it was cheaply made, and it simply didn’t work. Thousands of young explorers went into the Western wilderness with high hopes, but they were never to be seen again. Rumors soon began to circulate, but it wasn’t until the ruthless businessman was exposed as a fraud that people truly knew that “He Who Has A Tates Is Lost”.

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