Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Seven Degrees of Blonde

Category: Rated G

Many of these have been going around separately. Here there are several all together.


First Degree:

A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at two in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and said, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!” and hung up.
The husband said, “Who was that?” The wife said, “I don’t know, some
woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.”

Second Degree:

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
and says, “Hmm, this person looks familiar.” The second blonde says,
“Here, let me see!” So the first blonde hands her the compact. The
second one looks in the mirror and says, “You dummy, it’s me!

Third Degree:

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens
the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is
really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does
so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her
head. The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it!!!” The blonde
replies, “Shut up, you’re next!”

Fourth Degree:

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitols. She
proudly says, “Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them. A friend says, “OK,
what’s the capital of Wisconsin?” The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy, ‘W’.”

Fifth Degree:

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
“Is it mine?”

Sixth Degree:

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.
Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, “That was
the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.”

Seventh Degree:

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As
the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde
ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog,
then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,
“I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for
help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.”

« Previous post

Leave a Reply