Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Safety Overboard

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated G

Another groaner by Stan Kegel, this was posted on the groaners listserv.


I spent several years as a entertainment director on cruise ships. In order to work on a ship you are required to attend frequent lectures in water safety. Considerable time was devoted to what you should do if you accidentally fall overboard.

It was recommended to us, not to panic, but to slowly remove all our outer clothing. However, we were warned to be certain that the blouse always is taken off last, because the air gets under the blouse and acts like a buoy.

It was also recommended that we should always carry a bar of soap, because then we could be certain to be washed ashore.


Chris Coles observes:

Unless, of course, the objective was to attract a large school of fish which would provide rescue. Then one could assert that cleanliness was next to codliness.

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