Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Roof Repair

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated G

This was published on the groaners listserv. The author is unknown.


A man who despised his city’s Building Department decided to re-roof his house. He knew he was supposed to get a building permit to do this, but didn’t out of spite. He had completed most of his illegal repairs and was preparing to eliminate the sag in the eaves at the end of the house. As the man struggled to eliminate the sag in the eaves, some rotted wood gave way underneath him. He fell right through the hole in the roof, but managed to grab the edge of the eaves as he fell, catching himself.

Unfortunately, the sudden weight of the falling man caused the edge of the roof to completely tear loose from the rest of the house, resulting in the man falling twenty feet to the ground and getting pummelled with debris from the collapsed eaves.

A neighbor happened to witness this and hurried over to check on the man. He was alive, but badly hurt. The paramedics were called and he was taken to the hospital in agony.

The man’s injuries were serious enough that he spent six weeks in the hospital recovering. On his last day in the hospital, the police arrived and announced that he was under arrest for his activities six weeks earlier.

“What!?” exclaimed the man. “You’re going to arrest me for falling off my own roof?”

“Oh no,” replied the policeman. “We’re arresting you for tearing off the edge of your roof without a permit. … That’s a clear case of illegal eavesdropping.”


Chris Cole added:

By the time this guy got through paying his medical and, potentially, lawyers’ bills for everything I suppose he was utterly tapped out.

(I wonder if the police officer spoke in a gutteral tone?)

« Previous post
Next post »

Leave a Reply