Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Roast for the 2010 Punster of the Year

Category: Puns, Rated G

Steve Brooks was the Punster of the Year (P.O.T.Y.) for 2010. He is a hard person to roast, but here was my contribution, given nearly a year ago.
By Alan B. Combs


In honor of Steve Brooks.

Gentleman Punster, out on a spree,
Punning from Here to Eternity,
Lord, have mercy on such as he.
Bah, Bah, Bah.

One of the punsters at this meeting, Jim Ertner, writes books about animal puns, jokes, and riddles. To add to his collection, I present the following Folk Monsters for inclusion in his next book.

There’s the one from the Himalayas, the large, white-furred rascal with the protruding tummy — The Abdominal Snowman. They keep trying to kill him off, Yeti still survives.

There’s the Canadian monster called “SAS”. Everyone in the woods is looking for him; they’re on a SAS-watch. (I had to tell that one carefully; didn’t want to put my big foot in my mouth.

And there’s the really sloppy creature inhabining a lake in Scotland — Messie.

There’s the Hispanic monster of Mexico and Puerto Rico. It combines the worst aspects of military helicopters and goat abusers — the Choppercabra.

And from the Southwest corner of the U.K. come the fairies that tell really lousy jokes — the Corny Pixies.

It’s hard to keep coming up with these. I am reminded of the old Johnny Cash song:
“An old cowpoke went riding out one dark and windy day.
Upon a ridge he rested as he went along his way.”
He was looking for help with writing his newest novel.
Looking up, that’s when he found the “Ghost Writers in the Sky”.

Remember, a breech birth is Nature’s Backup Plan. My plan is to sit down now.

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