Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Roamin’ Tale

Category: alt.callahans, Rated G

This is by Linda Wilkinson (aka Blessing) on alt.callahans.


Blessing is floating near the end of bar, chatting with the marine, when she notices a Mallard enter the bar. The Mallard catches her attention immediately due to its odd colouration. Instead of the standard feather hue, this creature is a light blue with a touch of green. The Mallard hops up on a stool and orders a drink.

“Bill” she whispers to the marine “are my ears playing tricks or is that bird speaking Italian?”

“Sounds like Italian to me.” confirms Bill.

The Mallard finishes its drink, gives Mike (Callahan) a salute with its wing, and exits the bar.

Blessing motions Mike over. “Mike, if you’ll pardon our asking, was that a friend of yours?”

“Sure is. Known him for years.” replies the barkeep.

“I’ve never seen a Mallard of his colour before” remarks Blessing,”and to hear him speak Italian really impressed me. I’ll bet he is one of a kind.”

“No” replies Mike “there used to be quite a few, but now it is not often that you see a genuine

ROMAN AQUA DUCK.”


Chris Cole provided the following additions:

Does the duck normally order his drinks watered down?

Or… perhaps he’s an independent sort of a soul, not carrying anyone’s water….

However, if he gets totally drunk, I suppose they’d say he’s sluiced?

If this is normal, everyday, habitual behavior, I’d have to conclude that this Roman Aqua Duck is in a bit of a rut.

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