Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Revised Songs for the New Millennium

Category: Puns, Rated PG-13, Shaggy Puppy

My student L.Therrio is turning out to be a good source for these things. One must avidly recruit such folks.


Some of the artists of the ’60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include:

1. Herman’s Hermits— Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Walker.
2. The Bee Gees— How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.
3. Bobby Darin— Splish, Splash, I Was Havin’ a Flash.
4. Ringo Starr— I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.
5. Roberta Flack— The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
6. Johnny Nash— I Can’t See Clearly Now.
7. Paul Simon— Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
8. The Commodores— Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.
9. Marvin Gaye— Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.
10. Procol Harem— A Whiter Shade Of Hair.
11. Leo Sayer— You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
12. The Temptations — Papa’s Got a Kidney Stone.
13. Abba— Denture Queen.
14. Tony Orlando— Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.
15. Helen Reddy— I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.
16. Leslie Gore— It’s My Procedure, and I’ll Cry If I Want To.
17. Willie Nelson— On the Commode Again.

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