Used with permission from Cybe R. Wizard, a frequent poster to alt.humor.puns.
It has come to my attention that there are those among you who doubt the authenticity of my Wizardy. It’s been said that I am naught but a couch potato who sits watching TV and posting inane puns to Usenet. While it is true that I spend an inordinate amount of time involved in the aforementioned activities, since I got my new remote control I am truly a press de digit ‘tater.
I now return you to your regularly scanned newsgroup.