Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Professional Advice

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Puppy

This old classic was sent to us by Tom Vickery.


A man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening to me and I have to talk to you about it.”

The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?”

The man replied, “My wife is trying to poison me.”

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can this be?”

The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning my food, What should I do?”

The Rabbi then offers, “Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll get back to you with my advice.”

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, “Well, I met with your wife. I spoke to her for three hours. You want my advice?”

The man said yes, and the Rabbi replies, “Take the poison”.


Howell Gwin reminds us of the actual political debate in which the Lady Astor said to Winston Churchill, “Winston, if I were your wife I’d put poison in your coffee.”

And Churchill replied “Nancy, if I were your husband I’d drink it.”

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