Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

Politically Correct Terms to Use for Females

Category: Lists, Politically Incorrect, Puns, Rated PG

From a yahoogroups pun site.

* She does not get PMS; She becomes HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL

* She does not have a killer body; She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE

* She is not a bad cook; She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE

* She is not a bad driver; She is AUTOMOTIVELY CHALLENGED

* She is not a perfect 10; She is NUMERICALLY SUPERIOR

* She is not easy; She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE

* She does not hate sports on TV; She is ATHLETICALLY BIASED

* She does not have sexy lips; She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT

* She does not get drunk; She is ACCIDENTALLY OVER SERVED

* You do not ask her to dance; You request a PRECOITAL RHYTHMIC EXPERIENCE

* she is not hooked on soap operas; She is MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED

* She is not cold or frigid; She is THERMALLY INCOMPATIBLE

* She does not wear too much makeup; She is COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED

* She does not have a great rack; Her breasts are CENTRALLY LOCATED

* She will never gain weight she will become a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER

* She is not a screamer or moaner; She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE

* She does not shave her legs; She experiences TEMPORARY STUBBLE REDUCTION

* She does not have a hard body; She is ANATOMICALLY INFLEXIBLE

* She does not sun bathe; she experiences SOLAR ENHANCEMENT

* Her breasts will never sag; they will LOSE THEIR VERTICAL HOLD

* She does not shop too much; She is OVERLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING PLOYS

* She does not cut you off; She becomes HORIZONTALLY INACCESSIBLE

* She does not snore; She is NASALLY REPETITIVE

* She does not get drunk; She becomes VERBALLY DYSLEXIC

* She is not too skinny; She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT

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  • Welcome to the new home of Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots. At least 3057 horrible puns, shaggy dogs, groaners, and feghoots. And a couple of good ones.

    In Defense of Shaggy Dog Stories

    From Whence the Nomenclature Shaggy Dog

    Note: Some of these entries can be a bit on the racy side. And some should probably not be read by the more easily offended. All such posts are tagged "Adult Theme", "Politically Incorrect", or "PG-13" as appropriate.

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