Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Politically Correct Terms to Use for Males

Category: Lists, Politically Incorrect, Puns, Rated PG

From the yahoogroups punsite.


* He does not have a beer gut; He develops a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

* He is not quiet; He is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.

* He does not have a fabulous rear end; He has achieved BUTTOCKS PERFECTION.

* He is not stupid; He suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.

* He does not get lost all the time; He discovers ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

* He is not balding; He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

* You do not buy him a drink; You initiate an ALCOHOL-FOR-CONVERSATION EXCHANGE.

* He does not fart and belch; He is GASTRONOMICALLY EXPRESSIVE.

* His jeans are not too tight; He is ANATOMICALLY UNDERCIRCULATED.

* He is not a redneck; He is a GENETICALLY-RELATED AMERICAN.

* You do not kiss him; you become FACIALLY CONJOINED.

* He is not a cradle robber; He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

* He does not get falling-down drunk; He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

* He does not act like a total ass; He develops A CASE OF RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

* He is not short; He is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.

* He does not have a rich daddy; He is a RECIPIENT OF PARENTAL ASSET INFUSION.

* He does not constantly talk about cars; He has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.

* He does not have a hot body; He is PHYSICALLY COMBUSTIBLE.

* He is not unsophisticated; He is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.

* He does not eat like a pig; He suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.

* He does not hog the blankets; He is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.

* He is not a sex machine; he is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.

* He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has SWINE EMPATHY.

* You do not undress him with your eyes; You have AN INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENT.

* He is not afraid of commitment; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

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  • Welcome to the new home of Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots. At least 3057 horrible puns, shaggy dogs, groaners, and feghoots. And a couple of good ones.

    In Defense of Shaggy Dog Stories

    From Whence the Nomenclature Shaggy Dog

    Note: Some of these entries can be a bit on the racy side. And some should probably not be read by the more easily offended. All such posts are tagged "Adult Theme", "Politically Incorrect", or "PG-13" as appropriate.

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