Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Perils of Menopause

Category: Puns, Rated G

An ultimate medical in joke by Alan B. Combs

One of the common problems that occur as women get older is osteoporosis, or demineralization of the bones. (See, we sometimes sneak a little education in this venue.) The adverse consequences of such decreased bone mass is vulnerability to breaks and fractures.

There are several drugs that are being used to decrease this risk, but all of them, life-prolonging as they seem to be, have diverse adverse effects. This allows rational selection among the alternatives. Estrogens (female hormone replacements) may be associated with tumors in genetically susceptible women. Other popular drugs have the advantage of being very long-acting (monthly to yearly dosing), but rarely they can cause destruction of the jawbone (clearly for some husbands this might be seen as an improvement).

Now the venerable Eli Lilly has moved into this market with another drug to prevent osteoporosis in postmenopausal women. They have been so hopeful that their drug (reloxifene) will be the KING of such medicines that they brand-named it Elvista.

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