Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Wisdom for the New Year

Category: Picture Pun, Rated G

This one was sent in by Lowrie B.


Two of the greatest qualities in life are patience and wisdomRead the rest…

New Commemorative Pistol

Category: Picture Pun, Rated G

Ruger is coming out with a new pistol in honor of members of the United States House of Representatives.

It will be named the “Congressman.”

The Congressman

It doesn’t work and you can’t fire it.… Read the rest…

Why Lessons in Political Correctness May Be Needed for Men

Category: Adult Theme, Current Events, Lists, Politically Incorrect, Rated PG

Sensitivity Training For Men
This was forwarded by Lowrie B who actually deleted certain ones.


* I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair; but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we’re stoning her in the morning!

* Went to our local bar with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting “pedophile!” and other names at me, just because my girlfriend … Read the rest…

Al Qaeda Disbands — Unnecessary

Category: Current Events, News, Politically Incorrect

This poliitical update is from Lowrie B. I think I would like to have the concession for the lemon creme pies to hit our politicos in the face.


WASHINGTON, D.C. —The international terror group known as Al Qaeda announced its dissolution today, saying that “our mission of destroying the American economy is now in the willing and capable hands of the U.S. Congress.”

In an official statement published on the group’s website, the current leader of Al Qaeda said that … Read the rest…

A Mime is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

Another story from Joe Blake.


Whilst Welsh miners are noted worldwide for their musical ability, there have been instances of other talents being discovered “down the pits”. One case which comes to mind was that of “Silent Llewellyn” who was, of all things, an excellent mime artist. Whilst it was not something he could exercise very successfully in the semi-dark of the workface – for example his mime of “She Stopes to Conquer” both went down like a lead balloon … Read the rest…

A Shaggy Stone Gathers No Moss

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

Another submission from Joe Blake.


A competition was held to determine who would be given the commission to create a series of bronze statues of The Rolling Stones.

The hunt went world-wide, via TV, Newspapers, The Internet, and even word of mouth. After 12 months the judges had eliminated all but 5 artists, based upon their smile, their hairstyle, their huggability, their body odour, dress sense and even their artistic ability as displayed in samples of their work.

These were … Read the rest…

A Ham Fisted Pun

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

Joe Blake submitted this Christmas story.


A farmer walked into his local doctor’s surgery to seek treatment for some rather nasty gashes around his legs. The doctor asked the man what had happened.

“Well, doc,” he says, “Christmas is coming up, and a few months ago my wife and I selected a piglet for us to fatten up for Christmas dinner, and I’ve been given that young fellow special rations to get him into proper shape, and I was just … Read the rest…

Shaggy Apocalypse

Category: Rated G, Short Snorts

Needed to post this one while I still could!


People are making jokes about the apocalypse like there’s no tomorrow.… Read the rest…

Shaggy Pizza

Category: Rated G, Short Snorts

Dave Wallace submitted this short little Christmas gem.


Q: What was Good King Wenceslas’s favourite pizza?

A: Deep pan, crisp and even.… Read the rest…

Now that I’m Older…

Category: Current Events, Lists, Rated G

Another list of wisdom from Bro Tom Vickery. He’s my age, BTW; or is it visa versa?


Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is … Read the rest…