Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Punslingers 2015, Round Two

Category: Gatling Puns, Rated PG, Video

And, for your viewing pleasure or displeasure, here is round two of Punslingers from the 2015 O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships.

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Punslingers 2015, Round One

Category: Gatling Puns, Rated PG, Video

Round One of Punslingers ran for an hour and twenty-one minutes. Here it is, with all of it’s punishment.

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Results from the 2015 O. Henry Pun-Off

Category: News

Even in the face of inclement weather, Saturday saw perhaps the largest crowd for an O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships in history. The audience was treated (or subjected) to an epic eight hours of competition.

The video from the competition is being uploaded to YouTube as I type this. Right now, the gating factor is horrible U-verse upload speeds, so it may be a few days until everything is uploaded.

I’ll link to the highlights from here, but you’ll be … Read the rest...

Religious Fundamentalists

Category: Puns, Rated G, Rated PG, Short Snorts

A friend of mine is very inclined to religious fundamentalism. Among other groups, he has been studying the Quakers, the Mennonites, and the Amish. He just cannot decide whom to join, and this has become a source of great confusion and anguish to him. Hypertension and cardiac symptoms have resulted. Finally, he heard some very helpful advice in a TV advertisement – “Ask your doctor if your heart is strong enough for sects.”… Read the rest...

Putin on the Ritz

Category: Current Events, Picture Pun, Rated G

This one is making the rounds. No idea what the original source is, but Richard Lederer sent it to us. Putin on the Ritz

Sex Antics

Category: Rated G, Short Snorts

Mike Franklin sent in this one that’s making the rounds.


How to tell the sex of an Ant?

Place Ant in glass of water.

If it sinks: Girl Ant

If it floats…..… Read the rest...

The Raisin Couldn’t Achieve Grapeness

Category: Rated PG, Shaggy Puppy

Another submission from Mike Franklin.


There is a new wine available for seniors who have problems getting up often to urinate at night —

A single glass at night could mean a peaceful, uninterrupted nights sleep.
I kid you not…

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people … Read the rest...

Season’s Greetings, said the Salt to the Pepper

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Puppy

Mike Franklin submitted three variants of this seasonal pun.


I used to know a guy who absolutely loved hollandaise sauce. He would buy the sharpest brand he could find and would put it on just about everything. Well it turned out that because he used the spicy sauce so much, it started to wear down a hole on the roof of his mouth. He went to a doctor and asked what he could do about it. The doctor looks at … Read the rest...

Soccer? I barely know her!

Category: Rated PG, Short Snorts

Knowledge of Premier League football will help with this submission by Dave Wallace.


Like many of us, I’m embarrassed when I can’t remember the name of a person after our initial introduction.

My local coffee shop proprietor introduced me to her new worker, Chelsea, recently.

Now, I want you to know that I have a system for remembering names by spotting some characteristic of that person and creating an association, or index as a prompt or hint to recall the … Read the rest...

A Seasonal Feghoot

Category: Puns, Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

Mike Franklin sent in this little adventure of our friend Ferdinand Feghoot.


On a December trip to Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, Ferdinand Feghoot was summoned to the local college, Wossamotta U. by Inspector Fenwick, the Chief of Police. There he was confronted with an appalling scene. Bullwinkle, the town’s leading citizen, had been smashed flatter than a kippered herring by a falling safe.

“It’s a common enough means of death for cartoon characters,” Fenwick opined. “Every year we lose five or … Read the rest...