Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Punniest of Show Third Place

Category: Gatling Puns, Rated PG, Video

Here is Michael Kohl’s third place entry in Punniest of Show at the 2016 O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships.

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Punslingers Round 1, 1st Half

Category: Rated PG, Video

If you couldn’t make it out to the Pun-Off last weekend, you can watch it here. We’ll start off with the first half of the first round of the Punslingers competition.

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Sister Cities

Category: Puns, Rated PG

This was sent in by Frank Reid.


The residents of the town of Ramsey on the Isle of Man in the UK decided that they would partner (we call them Sister Cities) with the town of Novokutznetsk in Russia. The Manx population was very happy, as were the residents of Novokutznetsk. A large, joint celebration was planned in both towns.

To commemorate the event, the citizens of Ramsey constructed a miniature of their famous “Albert Tower” to go in the … Read the rest...

Punniest of Show 2016 Results

Category: News

A three way tie of perfect scores was resolved via audience applause. Michael Kohl riffed on vegetables with a political bent, Jerzy Gwiazdowski punned all the Asian countries, and Southpaw Jones had a show for the birds.

The final ranking was:

3rd – Kohl
2nd – Jones
1st – Gwiazdowski

Update May 9, 2016: Here are all the scores. The highest and lowest scores are knocked out before the total is summed.

# Name 1 2 3 4 5 6
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All I Need is a Sine

Category: Rated G

Sent in by Dave Wallace, who says, “Currently floating around like a log on FB. Bit of a tangent from the usual, but I’m sending it ‘cos I can.”


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Difficult to Rectify

Category: Rated G, Short Snorts

A submission from Dean Day. The original source is unknown (by me).


Two doctors (in the financial district) go to have lunch. When they are finished, one of them offers to pick up the tab, reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a thermometer. “aw, shucks,” he says, “some investment banker must have run off with my pen”.… Read the rest...

Star Wars Derived?

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Puppy

It was a hot summer’s day, and Luke was in the marina, having a few beers aboard his boat, patriotically named the “Fourth of July.” He was waiting for his friend, Opie, to arrive so they could go for a cruise.

Opie was late, unfortunately, because he had to pick up his wife from her appointment with the obstetrician. Her examinations were cheap because the doctor, a fellow named Juan, was Opie’s cousin. Anyway, the appointment went over time, and … Read the rest...

A Pun Taken to Pharaoh

Category: Rated G

Mike Franklin submitted this little gem.


Does this one travel? I am not sure but I do know that…..Archaeologists dig it

Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in a mixture of chocolate and hazelnuts….

….It is believed to be the Pharaoh Rocher… Read the rest...

A Wheely Good Pun

Category: Rated G

Dave Wallace sent this in, saying that he cobbled it together from several “Aviation Herald” threads.


A Mistral Avions de Transport Regional ATR-72-212A on behalf of Alitalia, registration OY-YAB performing flight AZ-1821 from Pantelleria to Trapani (Italy), was enroute when air traffic control informed the crew that a nose wheel had been found on the departure runway and had been identified as belonging to their aircraft.

The crew continued to Trapani, performed a low approach to have the landing gear … Read the rest...

Windows of Opportunity

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

Joe Blake submitted this little guy.


A bloke was walking along the street one day when he passed the local community hall and heard a burst of enthusiastic applause from within. He noticed a small handwritten sign on the door which said “Free Lecture – How to Succeed. All Welcome.” He entered the door and found himself in a room packed with people, bursting into spontaneous applause as they listened to the speaker on the stage. Standing at the back … Read the rest...